Eling an authentic emotion one that would prove his

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eling an authentic emotion, one that would prove his maturity. However, he backs away from grieving over his mother, reflecting their relationship from the very beginning. Szczsiul is correct in saying that George's mother has had little to no influence on him. But Szczsiul is flawed in the reasoning behind why Elizabeth fails to influence her son. Grant it that George is immature – as Szczsiul explains – he is not the only one who is. The immaturity of Elizabeth Willard also contributes to the inability for her to positively influence George's life-changing decision. Neither of the critics go as far in concluding that Elizabeth Willard is also immature. It is blatantly clear, especially at the start of the novel, that George Willard has immature qualities. He fails to act upon the emotions that he feels: towards his mother, Helen White, and getting to know Enoch and his story. Elizabeth keeps her distance and rarely interacts with her only son. She stays a safe distance apart, being careful to not have a face-to-face encounter with him, “By Comment [Jason13]:  I think your reader—who you must assume to be a reader of W,O —won’t have a hard time disagreeing with this statement. Again, I encourage you to consider the benefits of hedging: when you use absolute language (“there is no sign”), that all your reader has to come up with in order to reject your idea is just the slightest sign. And you, yourself, admit the slightest sign later in this paragraph.
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18 the door of her son's room the mother knelt upon the floor listened for some sound from within. When she heard the boy moving about and talking in low tones a smile came t o her l i ps” ( 1 8 ). Elizabeth tries to learn about her son by listening to him and watching him. She doesn't want to talk to him and that alone reflects upon her immaturity. Like George, Elizabeth has strong emotions that she cannot act upon. She doesn't have the courage to acknowledge these feelings thus keeping their relationship in an awkward place.
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19 Jung Hi Linda, I think this is probably a good draft. With confidence, I can say that you write good prose (though with somewhat frequent errors in word choice) and that the overall structure of your argument seems soundly logical and forward-moving. I say your draft is “probably” good because of what I say in Comments 6 & 7. You have not proven to me that your argument truly responds to a problem in the existing scholarship as represented by F and S. Thus, though I recognized clear m e rit t o t h is draft, I’m not c o n vinced your essay has a sound foundation. Addressing your paper’s foundation ( s ee Comments 6 & 7) should be your first priority as you revise. My other main suggestions are bundled together in Comment 12. In brief, that comment praises your existing use of A&R (though I hasten to add you probably have additional opportunities for A&R in this paper), but suggests that you could strengthen your argument (and most particularly your use of A&R) through more evidence and analysis and especially through some judicious hedging.
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