Smiling leaning in misperception sometimes people are

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Smiling, leaning in Misperception Sometimes people are just trying to be nice, so the indirect cues can be misread affinity testing “does this person like me” affinity seeking “im gonna make this person like me”
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DYSFUNCTIONAL COMMUNICATION John Gottman One of the top researchers in communication in relationships Published at least 100 journal articles He brings couple into lab and asks people to discuss most recent arguments, and determines if a couple is gonna have a long term or a shorter relationship he guesses 80% correctly communication patterns in troubled relationships ‘negative reciprocity’ cycle Pattern that happens in troubled relationships If someone does something positive, it doesn’t get reciprocated and agnknowleged, overlooked If someone does something negative, it gets reciprocated and emphasized Negatives tend to count for more than positives do constructive conflict vs. destructive conflict Constructive disagree: we build up from the argument, forced for growth, tend to have healthy long term relationships Destructive: fight and don’t resolve, build down not up, tend to have short horttible relationships Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Critisism (criticizing your partner) Contempt (showing discust in your partner) Defensiveness (blaming the other person for everything, don’t take the blame) Stone walling (putting up a wall, not talking ignoring) other problematic patterns Kitchen sinking, when people get into a disagreement they bring everything up, this then this then this and this happened and you did this Flooding, when your partner is overwhelmed, not expecting it, you say one thing and the person just explodes, don’t feel safe Mind-reading, the idea that you shouldn’t have to tell your partner, they should just know - content/uploads/2018/06/Dys-kids-image.jpg
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THEORY OF SOCIAL PENETRATION
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