Page 411 whats on your mind q i am a college student

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Page 411 WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? Q: I am a college student here in the United States from India. In my family, marriages have historically been arranged. My parents have already chosen my husband but I do not know him very well. Do you think that someone can fall in love in an arranged marriage? A: The answer is yes, but your experience may or may not match the cultural expectations of your family. Over the course of time, we humans have evolved these kinds of sexual cultures and we need to recognize that they are part of the cycle of life. We know from studies that people do create wonderful and fulfilling marriages that are arranged for them, but sometimes the arranged match between two individuals doesn't work. Follow your intuition, but also seek the guidance of your friends and family, as you find your way toward sexual well-being. Another historical trend in marriage in the United States has to do with interracial marriage and changing attitudes toward it. Until 1967, it was illegal for people of different races to marry in most places in the United States. Here are some relevant facts surrounding this taboo (Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance, 2011): 1948—90% of adults in the United States opposed interracial marriage when California became the first state to legalize it. The ruling was hugely controversial. 1967—about 72% opposed interracial marriage when the U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws against it everywhere in the United States. 1991—adults opposed to interracial marriage became a minority for the first time. Today interracial marriage is widely supported in the United States, and research indicates that 25% of White Americans and about 50% of African Americans belong to multiracial families (Goldstein & Kenney, 2001). Among them is Barack Obama, the child of an interracial marriage, who became the 44th president of the United States. Sex and Marriage What makes sex in marriage satisfying? Does it change with age? A myth in our culture is that older married or cohabiting couples get bored with each other and stop having sex. At the beginning of a sexual relationship the excitement and joy may be indescribable and sex may enhance that feeling. Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a noted psychologist and sex therapist, likes to say that people continue to want to have physical relationships and sex as they age. “It is just plain wrong,” she says, “to think that romantic love occurs only among young adults” (Westheimer & Lopater, 2002, p. 469). The frequency of sex does decline as we age. But the primary reason people do not have sex later in life is the lack of a partner. Older adults do enjoy sexual activity. First, as noted, people who are married have more sex than singles, even older married couples (Laumann et al., 1994). Second, after the birth of children, many couples report a drop in sexual relations and sex drive or energy. This seems to be relatively normal and common, but a variety of factors may enter into the situation, gender being one.

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