Recognize that self blame and guilt are defenses

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Recognize that self-blame and guilt are defenses against feeling out of control. Remember that you can’t control another person’s decisions or behaviors. Be thankful for the good times you’ve had and the contributions the relationship has made to your life. Give yourself time to heal. Allow yourself to have new experiences and to make new friends, but avoid comparing new relationships with the one that has ended. Overcoming a breakup: Breaking Up The breakup of a relationship can cause a person to experience many of the stages of grief. These feelings are a natural part of the healing process.
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An Encouraging Word Much of the day-to-day comforting of termi- nally ill persons is carried out by dedicated volunteers. These volunteers often experience a profound sense of loss when the patient passes away. A word of support in the form of a card will encourage these volunteers to continue their important work. card stock paper felt-tip pens in different colors computer with clip art software (optional) 1. On 8 1 / 2 x 11 notebook paper, compose several versions of a message. Many volunteers report that inspirational messages are helpful. 2. Sketch the artwork you will include in your card. The artwork should empha- size serenity, peace, or hope. You may want to examine clip art options from a computer program for ideas. 3. Decide what “goodies,” such as a flower or candy, to include with your card. 4. Create your card, using card stock paper and felt-tip pens or computer clip art. Send your card to a hospital, hospice, or other facility in which volunteers provide support for terminally ill people. Then compose a reflective essay describing what you have learned about dealing with loss and grieving by empathizing with those who work with terminally ill patients. What You’ll Need What You’ll Do Apply and Conclude Coping with Death o help cope with death, allow some time to reflect on who you T were before the loss and who you will be after grieving. Focus on what you were able to do in the relationship, not what you could or should have done. Remember the wonderful things about the per- son and the good times you’ve shared. Another way to reach closure is by seeking support from others or writing a letter to say good-bye. Helping Others Through the Grieving Process Support from family and friends is important during or the act of showing sorrow or grief. While it is up to the individual to go through the grieving process, he or she doesn’t have to do it alone. You can help by showing empathy or just being there to lis- ten. Share your memories and appreciation of the person who is gone. Talking about experiences and memories can help survivors bridge the transition. mourning 240 Chapter 9 Mental and Emotional Problems U nresolved grief tends to affect the grieving process at the next occurrence of a loss—causing a person to express some emotions and responses that have been held back. The surfacing of unresolved grief reactions can slow and complicate the healing process.
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