expectations for my relationship. Is that bad?Some research suggests that if we expect good things from our relationship, we may create a more satisfying relationshipOther research suggests that high expectations lead to disappointment and poor relationship outcomes Ultimately it seems that whether highly positive relationship expectations are good or bad for a relationship depends on whether those expectations are likely to be confirmed
+Reading: Q18: My family and Social networks notice problems in relationships that the individuals in those relationships often miss themselvesIndividual’s friends (third parties) tend to be less forgiving than the individuals who are betrayed by their partnersRelationships that have the support of the individuals’ social networks are more likely to succeedfriends don’t like my partner. Should I listen to them?
+Reading: Q19: I believe for a Destiny theorists believe in soul mates. Any problems in the relationship are a sign that your partner isn’t your soul mate, so they are more likely to take responsibility for breaking-up with a partnerGrowth theorists believe that relationships get stronger as they overcome challenges. Therefore, they are more likely to put efort into their relationships when they encounter trouble relationship to work, partners must be “soul mates”. Am I right?Implicit theories of relationships refer to people’s beliefs about the stability versus changeability of aspects of their romantic relationships. Are things likely to remain the same> or could they get better or worse over time?
+Building Intimacy Two Key ComponentsSelf DisclosurePartner ResponsivenessUnderstands the informationAccepts/validates the speaker’s belief thought or actionStill cares for and feels positively about the speakerSpeaker’s perception of the partner’s response is what counts hereReis and Shaver’s Model of Intimacy DevelopmentStarts with telling someone you care about somethingThe more we feel that people are responsive to us the more we expect to feel understood, validated, and cared for the next time we talk to themFor deeper intimacy to develop the roles must then switch (the speaker becomes the listener and vise versa) and the same process plays out again These micro-level interactions play out many times over the course of a relationship and lead to intimacy
+Self Disclosure outcomes Lack of self-disclosure (in relationships in general, not just romantic relationships), or psychological inhibition, can lead to:Increased risk of physical health problems
+Perceived Partner ResponsivenessRate of “mutual validation” higher in happy couples than unhappy couplesCritical to maintaining a positive self-conceptA greater amount of responsiveness is expected from a spouse than from othersExpected level of responsibility vs. Breadth of the Social Network TriangleTop to Bottom: Spouse/child, parents, close friends, casual friends, acquaintances, strangers
+Inclusion of Other in SelfThink of intimacy as sharing with your partner that which makes you, you This involves:A communal outlook: “What is good for you is good for me”
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