Rdt argues that relationships do not progress in

RDT argues that relationships do NOT “progress” in stages, but rather:
o Always have contradictory “tensions”
 Autonomy vs. connection
Online Comm and Relationships
- Strengthening social ties?
o Studies show:
 Self-reported importance for relationships
 Can gain same intimacy as FtF (but may take longer)
 Online comm can even be “hyperpersonal”
o Problems
 Conflicts can get nastier online (e.g. cyberbullying)
 Complexity in choosing channels
Interpersonal Conflict - perceived incompatible goals
Conflict Strategies
- Escapist strategies
o Want to prevent or get away from conflict
o Avoiding
 Goal: stay away from conflict entirely
 Ignores own needs and others’ needs
 Avoidance Tactics:
 Physical avoidance
 Changing the subject
 Denial
 Postponement
 Resorting to formal rules
 Controlling the process
 Gunnysacking
o Not dealing with conflict but also not letting it go
o Obliging
 Goal: let other have his/her way; appease

 Shows some concern for other, but not always best solution
 Obliging tactics
 Openly given in
 Passive agreement
- Competitive strategies
o Want to get their way; concern mostly with self
o Direct fighting (also called “competitive fighting”)
 Goal: I win / you lose
 Direct fighting tactics
 Assertiveness
 Verbal aggression, hostility
 Presumptive attribution
 Threat, Ultimatum
o Indirect fighting (also called “passive aggression”)
 Goal: express discontent, but not openly
 Indirect fighting tactics
 Provoke guilt
 Subtle, indirect negative messages
- Cooperative strategies
o Seek to benefit both parties/relationship
o Compromising
 Goal: both gain something
 Trade off: both lose something too
 Compromising tactics
 Restating positions (instead of needs)
 Negotiating from extremes
o Collaborating
 Goal: “win/win” outcome
 Flexible goals, perspective
 Collaborating tactics
 Focusing on underlying needs (instead of positions)
 Showing empathy: validating needs
 High disclosure; avoiding blame
8/29/18
Public Communication and Persuasion
(NOTE: Persuasion parts of lecture are key for Paper #2)
Public Communication
- One speaker (or panel) to an audience (FtF w/ a distance)
- What makes speaking effective?
o Style AND substance are important

Effective Style
- Appears “natural”
o Very fitting of the person’s natural style of talking
o Ironically requires practice
- Reinforces (not distracts from) message
o E.g. fidgeting, swaying
- Is varied (not monotonous)
- Demonstrates immediacy
o Smiling, eye contact
o Emotional intimacy to relate with audience
- What helps?
o Preparation & Rehearsal!
o Effective notes
Effective Substance
- The right message . . .
o Delivered by the right source . . .
 To the right audience . . .
- Let’s focus now on how this works for PERSUASION
o Using communication to change people’s attitudes or behavior
Message Strategies
- Use of evidence (supporting arguments)
o Factual statements, statistics or study findings
o Examples or personal statements
o Sayings/quotations
o Analogies or metaphors
- One-sided or Two-sided Arguments?