ENG101 Argument 1 Teacher Corrections

This is an effective piece of the poster because the

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. This is an effective piece of the poster because the audience begins to make a connection with the subjects and themselves. They might try to put themselves in the shoes of the subjects, so that it would be a more ideal possibility for their own future. Who would not want an attractive woman starring at them proudly? Once men get to a certain age, they begin to desire the kind of woman that accepts them and appreciates a successful man. Therefore, the poster presents the central idea that with the service, men can take the next step to holding a successful career.
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It may seem that the Vietnam draft resistance poster draws a story along with the image. But to the average viewer, posters without vibrant and outstanding colors are not very attractive. When a poster fails to be attractive, it is not remembered or recalled much. Since everyone in today’s society can somehow relate to falling in love, the poster I’m not sure that starting with a question is the most effective strategy here. The two what? This is one example of a vague description. The viewer can see on the poster that the sailor is standing beside the woman; how he entered is not observable. You can certainly make guesses, but precede them with observations. “The man stands beside the woman. He seems to have entered…” This word usually has a negative connotation. This is an abstract noun. You might just want to say “medals.” You repeat “the woman” and “the man” a lot. You might try varying your references to them and using pronouns. Both of your descriptions, while they have some good detail, are hard to visualize. Your opening sentences in particular are rather vague. I’m not sure if something else was supposed to follow “look” here or if “young” is supposed to go at the end. This seems unrelated to the sentences around it. This is a fragment. It needs a main verb, or it needs to lose “since.” Which poster? draws a wide audience. Even though the Vietnam draft resistance poster has a catchy text on the top, the audience does not have a lot of details to look at among the picture. It would be harder to describe what the draft resistance poster is showing than the service recruitment poster, if someone was trying to recreate the image to another person. The Navy recruitment poster is far more effective than the Vietnam draft resistance poster for multiple reasons. The tone of the Navy recruitment poster causes the audience to remember the action presented and brings an emotional attachment to the image. The recruitment poster leaves the viewer with a warm and touching feeling. Most adults can relate to falling in love with someone and being proud of a lover. The poster represents a special moment that the two people are sharing, which gives the viewer a
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positive thought and mindset about what the submarine service could bring to their life in the near future. Your paper makes some good points, particularly about the contrast between full color and black and white. However, your paper is a bit vague. Your descriptions do not make it easy for the reader to visualize the poster, and your proofs also dwell on conclusions (the couple looks happy) without dealing with the observations that lead to them (the man is smiling). It is also difficult to separate your narration (description) from confirmation and refutation. C+/B-
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