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Lo6 how can paiboc help me write negative messages

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LO6How Can PAIBOC Help Me WriteNegative Messages?PAIBOC analysis helps you identify a reader-centred organizational pattern and theinformation you should include.Ex. 8.3, 8.4, 8.7–8.12Before you tackle the assignments for this module, examine the following problem. As in Module 7, thePAIBOC questions probe the basic points required for a solution. Study the two sample solutions to see whatmakes one unacceptable and the other one good.5The checklist in Figure 8.11 can help you evaluate a draft.LO7ProblemYou’re director of employee benefits for a Fortune 500 company. Today, you received the following email.From: Michelle JagtianiSubject: Getting My Retirement BenefitsNext Friday will be my last day here. I am leaving (name of company) to take a position at another firm.Please process a cheque for my retirement benefits, including both the deductions from my salary andthe company’s contributions for the last three and a half years. I would like to receive the cheque bynext Friday, if possible.You have bad news for Michelle. Although the company does contribute an amount to the retirementfund equal to the amount deducted for retirement from the employee’s paycheque, employees who leavewith fewer than five years of employment receive only their own contributions. Michelle will get backonly the money that has been deducted from her own pay, plus 4 percent interest compounded quarterly.Her payments and interest come to just over $17,200; the amount might be higher, depending on theModule 8Composing Negative Messages161
amount of her last paycheque, which will include compensation for any unused vacation days and sickleave. Furthermore, since the amounts deducted were not considered taxable income, she will have topay income tax on the money she receives.You cannot process the cheque until after her resignation is effective, so you will mail it to her. Youhave her home address on file; if she’s moving, she needs to let you know where to send the cheque.Processing the cheque may take two to three weeks.Write a memo to Michelle using PAIBOC analysis.FIGURE 8.8Allocating Time for Writing a Bad News Memo (email denying matching funds;time may vary)Total Time: 3 hoursPlanning• Understand the situation.• Answer the PAIBOC questions (Module 1).• Think about document design (Module 5).• Organize the message.1.0 hoursWriting• Draft the memo.0.5 hoursRevising• Reread draft.• Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and checklistfor negative messages (Figure 8.12).• Revise draft.• Ask for feedback.• Revise draft based on feedback.• Edit to catch grammatical errors.• Run spell check.• Proofread.• Email to Michelle.1.5 hoursFIGURE 8.9PAIBOC Analysis of the ProblemPWhat are yourpurposesin writing or speaking?• To tell Michelle that she will receive only her own contributions, plus 4 percent interest compounded quarterly; thatthe cheque will be mailed to her home address two to three weeks after her last day on the job; and that the moneywill be taxable as income• To build goodwill so that she feels that she has been treated fairly and consistently; to minimize negative feelingsshe may have• To close the door on this subjectAWho is youraudience? How do the members of your audience differ from each other? What audience characteristicsare relevant to this particular message?

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Term
Spring
Professor
NoProfessor
Tags
The Reader, good news, The Comic Strip, Michelle Jagtiani

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