Avoid repeating negative patterns 5 know the

avoid repeating negative patterns
5. Know the communication patterns & strategies of disengagement during
relationship deterioration
Strategies of Disengagement: when you wish to exit a relationship you need to explain it
to your partner, and to yourself.
CH. 10
1. Know types of friendships & online relationships

2. Friendship of receptivity- positive imbalance in giving & receiving. 1 person is the
primary giver & another is the receiver. Difference in status is essential for development
3. Friendship of association- transitory type. More of a friendly relationship than a true
friendship. Ppl close in proximity (roommates, coworkers). When you move away, you
lose friendship (no hurt feelings)
Online dating:
- Women are more likely to form online relationships than men, & those who
communicate frequently online tend to establish more relationships online
• Advantages:
• Less potential for physical violence & STD’s
• Rapport & mutual self-disclosure are precursor to intimacy
• More “fish in the sea” online. Easier to meet someone who fits your style because
there are so many more people online
• Disadvantages:
• Hard to tell reality regarding photos & information given
• People can present a “false self”
• People often become addicted to online relationships
2. Know communication patterns in families & types of love
- Equality Pattern: each person has equal responsibility in roles, is awarded same degree
of credibility, & both have equal say in decisions
- Balanced Split Pattern: equality is maintained but each person has authority over
different domains. Each is an expert decision maker in their own area
- Unbalanced Split Pattern: expertise equates to control. 1 person dominates & is an
expert in ½+ areas of mutual communication. This controlling person is usually more
knowledgeable, attractive, & earns more.
- Monopoly Pattern: 1 person is the authority. They lecture not communicate, they rarely
seek advice, & prefers to have the final say. When their authority is challenged the
conflicts are bitter
Types of Love
• Eros: Beauty, physical attraction (starts and ends quickly)
• Ludus: Entertainment & Excitement (as long as you’re fun)
• Storge: Peaceful & Slow (friendship that develops into a relationship)
• Pragma: Practical & traditional (career choices, practicality, same things in life)
• Mania: Elation & depression (I can’t breathe w/o you, not real love, emotional)
• *Agape: Compassionate & selfless (BEST type. Here for you no matter what)
* 1 st stage: eros, mania, ludus (initial attraction)
• 2 nd stage: storge (as the relationship develops)
• 3 rd stage: pragma (as relationship bonds develop)
3. Know jealousy, bullying, & work relationships