Pain chen others 2008 o ostracism is a real pain

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pain (Chen & others, 2008) o Ostracism is a real pain - Exclusion experience (Baumeister, 2005) o When recently excluded people experience a safe opportunity to make a new friend Seem willing and even eager to take it
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Become more attentive to smiling, accepting face (DeWall & others, 2009) o Triggers increased mimicry of others’ behavior as a nonconscious effort to build rapport (Lakin & others, 2008) What leads to friendships and attraction? - Proximity (functional distance) o Geographical nearness Friendships of couples in student hosing (Festinger, Schachter & Back, 1950) 65% of friends lived in the same building 44% next door, 22% two doors apart, 10% on opposite ends of the hall Near stairwells on 1st floor reported more 2nd floor friends that other 1st floor residents o Powerfully predicts liking o May breed hostility Most assaults and murders involve people living close together o Seating assignment (Back & others, 2008) Randomly assigning students to seats at their first-class meeting Having each make a brief self-introduction to the whole class One year after this one-time seating assignment Students reported greater friendship with those how just happened to be seated next to or near them o Most people marry someone who Lives in the same neighborhood Works at the same company or job Sits in the same class Visits the same favorite place Survey of people married or in long-term relationships (Pew, 2006) 30% met at work or at school Some of the rest met when their paths crossed o Interaction Enables people to Explore their similarities Sense one another’s liking Perceive themselves as part of a social unit (Arkin & Burger, 1980) With repeated exposure to and interaction with someone Our infatuation may fix on almost anyone who has roughly similar characteristics and who reciprocates our affection Availability Increases the likelihood of meeting someone
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o Anticipation or interaction Enables people to discover commonalities and exchange rewards Merely anticipating interaction also boosts liking (Darley & Berscheid, 1967) Gave University of Minnesota women ambiguous information about two other women One of whom they expected to talk with intimately Asked how much they liked each one The women preferred the person they expected to meet Expecting to date someone similarly boosts liking (Berscheid & others, 1976) Phenomenon is adaptive Anticipatory liking Expecting that someone will be pleasant and compatible Increases the change of forming a rewarding relationship (Klein & Kunda, 1992) A good thing that we are biased to like those we often see For our lives are filled with relationships with people whom we may not have chosen But with whom we need to have continuing interactions Liking such people is surely conducive to better relationships with them Makes for happier, more productive living o Mere exposure Tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more
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  • Fall '16
  • The Hours, partner, Interpersonal relationship, Interpersonal attraction,  Feel

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