Now that i have had time to deal with losing him i

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Now that I have had time to deal with losing him, I still don’t believe I am a big enough person or righteous enough person to love someone who took someone that I loved from me . I love loving people, it feels good . However, I just feel so hurt when people hurt others and I can’t stop it or ease the pain of the other person . So I guess the only thing to do would be to close myself off from loving those types of people . It’s not that I hate them, it’s just that it really does hurt being so helpless and the other thing I can do to not feel so hurt or upset is to focus my energy to something like hating them . Even though both feelings are negative, at least I am in control of one of how I’m feeling . The contradicting thing is that although I may not be able to do what I may want to do in terms
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of how to live, I can give advice about it . Sometimes when I am speaking to people, I wonder if I am speaking to them or myself . I believe that one of the hardest things to do is to live in a way that may be most ideal, if others aren’t living in that way as well . If everyone is traveling down an already paved road, it’s going to be hard to cut a new path through the forest . The challenges are that the New Testament and the Hadith, both have these ideal ways of living, but it’ll always be more difficult and challenging to live that way . These religious tests can always show you examples of the best way to live and the worst way to live, but at the end of the day it’s never indicative of how tough actually going through it will be . I don’t know if I necessarily respond to these challenges, but I try to fight against what is the most convenient for me . Although I may want to follow the easier, I’d rather fight against myself to do something I’d rather not do than to do something I’ll regret that I did later on . The world isn’t the way the Hadith and the New Testament outlined . However, I think that’s the point . I believe that the point of these religious texts is so that we may fight against ourselves and grow to be even more critical & better thinking human beings . If we’re not questioning ourselves then who else will we question? I know for a fact that I am not the “perfect” Muslim outlined in the Qur’an & Hadith, but that’s the beauty in struggling . Why would you want something that is easy to attain? After you get it, you won’t have to work anymore . So, if I am constantly struggling in the way of God, then I can’t ever say I am the best at it because I’m always trying to make myself better . The biggest way that the New Testament and the Hadith fundamentally challenge my conception of community is that they show me that the community I believe in is far from a perfect society . It has many kinks that need to be ironed out and reworked . However, there is
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always something to work at which keeps us striving to better ourselves . Will we always want to work at bettering ourselves? Most likely not, but there will always be that motivating factor of good that moves people to want to do something positive in their lives, whether it is creating an impact in their communities . I would say that I don’t have a community, but I do have an idea as to what a community should be . Now how would I go about ascertaining that community? I believe that’s the question that many (including myself) have yet to answer .
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  • Spring '12
  • AMARDORODRIGUEZ
  • 2006 albums, 2008 singles, Cher, By the Way

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