Week 7 CheckPoint_Introductions and Conclusions Writepoint

Comma before this word if this is the end of the

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comma before this word if this is the end of the introductory phrase (beginning with "When")] [Do not use second person in academic writing.] ordered a fist sized hamburger from a fast food restaurant? Was your [Do not use second person in academic writing.] body really meant to ingest a three quarter [If used as an adjective, this word should be hyphenated--?<wrd>-quarter] pound piece of meat? Another one is do you [Do not use second person in academic writing.] think quarter pound of French fried potatoes that are [Clearer writing suggestion--see if the sentence can be rewritten to remove "that are" or "who are"] sprinkled [The passive voice is a form of "be" (are) and a participle (sprinkled). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Try to use the active voice most often, e.g., the student completed the paper on time. The passive voice version--The paper was completed on time by the student--See eCampus > Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] with salt and sugar for flavoring is nutritious? According to the government website nutrition.gov (2010, April 1) a balanced diet of forty [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] percent carbohydrates, forty [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] percent protein and twenty [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] percent fats is one the best way to maintain a healthy weight. It is ["It is" is an awkward phrase if "it" is not clearly a thing] also can be one of the most difficult to
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Eating Healthy 7 master and [Check punctuation--place comma before "and" if what follows is an independent clause (could be a sentence by itself)--See eCampus > Library > Center for Writing Excellence > Grammar Guides > Mechanics > Run-ons] sometimes can require the skills of a professional dietician. How can exercise save me money? According to the government website nutrition.gov (n.d.) the economic benefits of regular exercise are great [Clearer writing suggestion--"great" is an overworked word, too frequently seen, and too vague. It has too many meanings: huge, superior, numerous, etc. Besides "much," a "great deal" can mean an excellent transaction. Use a more specific adjective] and varied. Below is an excerpt from a document that was published [Passive voice] in a national research magazine. It describes several studies that show the benefits to large corporation that invest in their employee’s [Check apostrophe use--eliminate apostrophes with plural or singular nouns that are not possessive. Do not use apostrophes with possessive pronouns.] healthcare. “In [Check the quotation: If it is a complete sentence, a comma should precede the opening quotation mark (and the first word should be capitalized)] a study that spanned 14 years, Cady (1985) showed that the fittest employees had only one-eighth as many injuries as the least fit employees and that unfit employees incurred twice the amount of injury cost.
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