●Use I statements●Active listening●Be specific about the event and the behavior and your feelings●Avoid overgeneralizing (you always or you never)●Be respectful and validate feelings●Paraphrase your partner●Gottman’s studies and 7 signs (when fighting )●Eye-rolling is bad (contempt behavior, sign 3 )What is victim blaming? What is rape culture? How do we react to sexual assault?●Victim Blaming: suggesting that a victim of a crime (or circumstance) is at least partially responsible for it○What were they wearing, were they drinking?●Rape Culture: a pervasive acceptance of sexual objectification and victim blaming●Reactions to Assault:○Emotional shock - calm, numb○Embarrassment, shame, guilt○Anxiety, fear, powerlessness○PTSD○Depression, confusion○***all reactions are okay. There is no one right way to reactWhat makes us jealous?●Jealousy is the unhappy combination of hurt, anger and fear that occurs when people
face the potential loss of a valued relationship to a real or imagined rival●We all feel jealousy but evaluate certain situations very differently○What makes one person jealous may or may not make someone else jealous●Some jealousy can be good because it means that the partner values the relationshipWhat challenges do blended or stepfamilies face?●Stepparents must establish discipline/authority and closeness at the same time○Harder for stepmoms●Roles of stepparents and stepchild are poorly defined●Adolescent stepchildren may have considerable family power○Option of an alternative home○More skilled at instigating conflict●Children may be unwilling to accept authority from stepparents●Family integration can take years○Forming traditions○Building a shared family history■Establishing investments, memories, traditionsWhat is the paradox of social support?●Perceived support is associated with very positive outcomes, but actual support is associated with negative outcomes○Perceived support: idea that support is available to one in the future and has been available in the past■People who report high perceived support have less anxiety, less depression○Enacted/Received Support: single instance of support■Someone says “you’re going to be fine” it actually places more stress on the person - it’s possible that they didn’t actually mean it■Interpret it as “this isn’t going to go well, but I’m sure you’ll be okayanyway”■This is why we like receiving invisible support more because it helps us without making us feel incompetentWhat is the state of marriage in the US right now (when do we marry, why do we marry, what predicts divorce, who is most likely to marry, etc.)?