What besides those What besides activities and groups C People Like people you

What besides those what besides activities and groups

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identities. What besides those? What besides activities and groups? C: People. Like people you know. My son tells me who he is a lot because of what I tell him he is, not that it’s always good. And I guess my parents told me a lot about who I am. My dad always wanted a boy and I’d lay in bed at night and hope that I’d wake up as a boy, that I’d be what he seemed to want me to be. T: Great point! People either tell us who we are, or maybe at times the ways they treat us tell us who we are. And it’s not always good, but are still the building blocks we use to build an identity. Relationships of all kinds help us decide who we are, whether they’re relationships with bosses or friends or family or maybe even just people we encounter. I mean, if we’re nice to a sales clerk and he tells us we’re nice, we’re a little more likely to think of ourselves as nice people, which is a part of our identity. C: Yeah, I guess. T: So our identities, our sense of ourselves, is a lot about who people tell us we are—our relationships—what our favorite activities are, or our jobs, the groups we identify with, the things we stand for. Our values, our beliefs, our dreams even. Probably a lot of other things. All the things inside and outside ourselves that give us hints about who we are and when they make sense, the pattern they create is our identity. We put them together. Given all that, what do you do? How do you use that to decide who you are, or at least make it clearer? C:MaybejustseewhatIdoduringthedays,evenifitseemsstupid.Orjoinagroup, but I don’t want to join any groups. I hate them with a passion. And friends, I guess, but I don’t really have any friends. T: So of the three major areas you brought up, activities you take part in during your days is one way you decide who you are, and friends may be an option, even though you don’t have any right now. Groups are out. C: Groups are out. T: So let’s take activities: what activities make up your day, or would you like to make up your days? C: I like to paint and draw. I don’t do it for crap, but I like it. T: You’re a painter, a struggling artist. C: And I’ve always wanted to learn how to paint eggs. I used to do it for Christmas presentswhenIwasyoung.I’vealwayswantedtogolearnhowtodothatbetter, get the right equipment and
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everything. T: Not only can you do some art now, but it almost sounds like you’d like to get some education, or training, in how to be a better artist. C: And astronomy. I don’t know anything about it, but I’d like to. I love to look at the sky at night. I don’t remember any of the constellations for crap. T: You’d need education there, reading at least, it sounds like. C: In the past, I’ve gotten the catalog for the college in town, but I’ve always been too chickenshit to go. T: But if you felt like you wanted to, made a decision, it sounds like you can see yourself taking things like Art classes, Astronomy, maybe other courses. C: Writing. I like to read, and I’d like to learn how to write. T: What can you do then? C: I can get my ass out to the college and pick up a catalog, grit my teeth and sign up for something. Maybe just one
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