Working models or characteristic ways of thinking

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working models or characteristic ways of thinking about relationships (Hazan, 2004) Sensitive, responsive mothers—mothers who engender a sense of basic trust in the world’s reliability Typically have securely attached infants (Ainsworth, 1979; Erikson, 1963) Youths who have experienced nurturant and involved parenting Tend later to have warm and supportive relationships with their romantic partners (Conger & others, 2000) Other researchers believe attachment styles may reflect inherited temperament (Gillath & others, 2008; Harris, 1998) A gene that predisposes prairie voles to cuddle and mate for life (and has the same effect on laboratory mice genetically engineered to have the gene) has varying human forms One is more commonly found in faithful, married men, another in those who are unmarried or unfaithful (Caldwell & others, 2008; Walum & others, 2008) Moreover, teens who are prone to anger and anxiety tend to have, as young adults, more fragile relationships (Donnellan & others, 2005) For better or for worse, early attachment styles do seem to lay a foundation for future relationships - Equity o A condition in which the outcomes people receive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it o Equitable outcomes need not always be equal outcomes
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o What you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you each put into it (Hatfield, Walster & Berscheid, 1978) If two people receive equal outcomes they should contribute equally If both feel their outcomes correspond to the assets and efforts each contributes both perceive equity o Strangers and casual acquaintances maintain equity by exchanging benefits o Those in an enduring relationship do not feel bound to trade similar benefits Feel freer to maintain equity by exchanging a variety of benefits Eventually to stop keeping track of who owes whom o Long-term equity Those involved in an equitable, long-term relationship are unconcerned with short-term equity People even take pains to avoid calculating any exchange benefits (Clark & Mills, 1979) True friends tune into one another’s needs even when reciprocation is impossible (Clark & others, 1986) As people observe their partners being self-giving their sense of trust grows (Wieselquist & others, 1999) Not being calculating is a mark of friendship (Clark & Mills) Tit-for-tat exchanges boosted people’s liking When the relationship was relatively formal But diminished liking when the two sought friendship Marriage contracts In which each partner specifies what is expected from the other More likely undermine than enhance love Only when the other’s positive behavior is voluntary can we attribute it to love o Perceived equity and satisfaction Those who perceive their relationship as inequitable feel discomfort The one who has the better deal may feel guilty The one who senses a raw deal may feel strong irritation Given the self-serving bias
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  • Fall '16
  • The Hours, partner, Interpersonal relationship, Interpersonal attraction,  Feel

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