When using our methods for need recognition and

This preview shows page 110 - 112 out of 183 pages.

When using our methods for need recognition and relationship enhancement, the land of Alpha will open you to a good deal more information than a simple thoughtful moment at the Beta level of consciousness. Go to your meditative, Alpha level. When you are relaxed and free of stress plumb your mind for the answers. An understanding and perhaps a rereading of this chapter on relationships will enhance your abilities. As you become more and more aware of both yourself and other people, your understanding will create a tolerance and knowledge of others as well as yourself. This understanding should enable you to look for and find the needs of others, and to enrich all your relationships, whether they are with family, friends, or acquaintances. One fundamental need is for ego strength. You can strengthen the egos of other people simply by allowing them to feel good about themselves (even if you have to manufacture a situation in which they can.) As you learn more about the needs of others, be aware that needs often take insidious forms. Take the need, for instance, of a mother who believes that the only way she can get love from her
111 | P a g echildren is through sympathy. And so she “acquires” an assortment of illnesses to gain that sympathy, and suddenly she “needs” to be ill. The way for the child to fulfill the mother’s need in this instance is to love and cherish her; ultimately getting her to understand that the benefit of ill health is is already there, you do love her. She no longer needs to be in ill health, but in the meantime understanding that to her, illness is a need. Alcohol — Drugs — And NeedsAlcohol and drugs have been called mood changers. How much easier it is to understand their effects if we alter that to need changers. Under their influence, former needs are no longer necessary and things that were not necessary suddenly become vital. Some needs are enhanced, others diminished, and some eliminated while an entirely new set of needs pops up. Then the person sobers up or comes down from the high, and another set of needs comes into being. This roller coaster of fluctuating needs makes for a difficult period in the lives of the substance abusers loved ones, especially when they do not recognize the cause. So long as someone is filling the temporary needs created under the influence, the relationship between substance abuser and loved one will continue. In such a relationship, you must ask yourself whether you are willing to fill the temporary needs, thereby enabling and prolonging the problem. Why not instead create a new need? You can create needs as well as fill them. Create a need for sobriety, Make a trip of mutual discovery as to what life would be like without the opiates of alcohol and drugs.

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture