111 | P a g echildren is through sympathy. And so she “acquires” an assortment of illnesses to gain that sympathy, and suddenly she “needs” to be ill. The way for the child to fulfill the mother’s need in this instance is to love and cherish her; ultimately getting her to understand that the benefit of ill health is is already there, you do love her. She no longer needs to be in ill health, but in the meantime understanding that to her, illness is a need. Alcohol — Drugs — And NeedsAlcohol and drugs have been called mood changers. How much easier it is to understand their effects if we alter that to need changers. Under their influence, former needs are no longer necessary and things that were not necessary suddenly become vital. Some needs are enhanced, others diminished, and some eliminated while an entirely new set of needs pops up. Then the person sobers up or comes down from the high, and another set of needs comes into being. This roller coaster of fluctuating needs makes for a difficult period in the lives of the substance abusers loved ones, especially when they do not recognize the cause. So long as someone is filling the temporary needs created under the influence, the relationship between substance abuser and loved one will continue. In such a relationship, you must ask yourself whether you are willing to fill the temporary needs, thereby enabling and prolonging the problem. Why not instead create a new need? You can create needs as well as fill them. Create a need for sobriety, Make a trip of mutual discovery as to what life would be like without the opiates of alcohol and drugs.