Fatal attraction: the very qualities that drew us to someone eventually contribute to relational breakup. Examples: 1. Outgoing and flirty nature could be attractive, but then they flirt with other people and you break up. 2. attracted to their sense of humor but then realize they can never be serious. Describe twopersonality traits that seem to influenceearly attractionprocesses. Perceptions of reward value- When people enter a relationship they hope to obtain rewards, such as companionship, affection, sex, fun, and sometimes even financial resources. Expectations- peoples expectations determine what they notice as being unusual or usual, which influences their attraction to others. If the unexpected behavior is perceived as rewarding attraction is likely to increase. By contrast if the behavior is perceived unrewarding attraction is likely to decrease. (Ex from book) If Julie expects Tim to lend her his class notes and he refuses, her attraction to him will likely decrease. Why does similarity lead to attraction (as a rule)? Attitudinal similarity · The reinforcement effect- we are attracted to similar others because they reinforce our view of the world as the correct perspective · Similarity in communication skill · The matching hypothesis · Implicit egotism Why would two people who are both poor communicators be attracted to each other rather than to a person who is a good communicator? 1)The differential importance explanation- Communication may not be a very frequent or important activity for those with low communication skill. As a result low skilled people do not engage in comm very often, they may not be looking for a high-skill partner. 2)The ignorance is bliss explanation- Low skill individuals are not aware that some people communicate better than they do. Bc they have relationships with similar others most of their interactions have been with people with relatively low social skills. As a result, they are happy with the way their low skill partner communicates. 3) The “sour grapes” explanation- People who have poor communication skills are painfully aware of their shortcomings in the social arena. Although they might like to
have partners with better skills than they have, they perceive them to be out of reach. As a result they settle for partners with lower social skills. 4) The skill as culture explanation- What some people consider to be poor communication, others might consider good communication. Thus, individuals who are defined as low skill communicators by researchers may be enacting communication behaviors that they and their partners consider to be quite competent. Be able to talk about evolutionary theories of attraction. We are more attracted to people who can keep our genes going. Health and fertility are important aspects of attraction with this theory. Men look for physical attractiveness, women look for similarity/ personality.
- Spring '13
- Communications, partner, Interpersonal relationship