returning home. He had no interested in his previous life, turned to drinking, writing and hating things that didn’t involved him. “He had found his way of living, such as it was; he had found his two castles of philosophy and beauty, one within the other like wooden eggs from Russia” (pg.259). He traveled Europe, in pain of his fleeting childhood, hoping to find a place of solitude. He focused on himself for the majority of his time after the war and tried to find new meaning and purpose to live. He experimented with new religions and faiths (sun worshipping) while living in Paris: the liberal retreat for the wealthy of the first world and New York: The war like area of commotion that he had grown affectionate to. He kept close track of his thoughts in his diary that was recovered after his death. It was clear that Crosby had lost hope for humanity and give little thought to the things that were supposed to concern him. He lived in loops that keep him thinking about the war and his childhood. He found comfort with the sun but still could not find the will to continue living. Crosby was a self-centered narcissist that was living his adult life recklessly under his parent’s protections. While his writings may be highly regarded, he spent his life after war in his own world, living off his impulses until he was not able to any longer. Instead of addressing and solving his problems with the help of others, he chose to keep to himself and find his own solution as he rotted away. He was a great example of a man without meaning, one who fits perfectly into the concept of that lost nation that he lived in and after he died, the nation followed. Even with all of his wealth, he could not find purpose in life and ended up forfeiting it. The war was the sobering experience for everyone who felt they could just drift along experience the arts and building philosophy. While it did not result in a complete halt of rebellious action, it did retard a large aspect of rebellious activity in America. Daily Reading 11
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