In the meantime listening to sad music spending an

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happened to me, I was numb to every feeling, nothing could get to me. In the meantime, listening to sad music spending an unhinged amount of time overthinking everything. I was trying to live a lie and live up to others' standards of me causing me to be depressed. This was a very drastic time and I ended up in the hospital. This was detrimental for people that cared about me but I have wanted to attempt suicide since 7th grade and it made me feel better. While the people that cared about me were disappointed about my attempt I was glad I finally did something that I wanted to do for so long. That was a shift for me because I felt stronger and less fearful after, while others saw it as weak. I would not attempt something like that again but I see it as a good learning experience. After that school year was over I had upward bound and I was able to get away from everyone at my school and stay off social media and have a routine to sleep, read and expand my knowledge. When I stopped trying to fix everyone and spent more time loving and taking care of myself I felt at peace with life and it is a good feeling that wants everyone to be able to languish in. I was able to focus on school, sports and family more. After all, my grades rose, I became captain of the basketball team and I got closer to loved ones around me. I can not say it was
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always perfect but it taught me to take control of my own life and stop wasting my time on people that did not deserve my attention.
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  • Fall '19
  • Debut albums, The Conclusion, Meantime

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