It will settle to a steadier but still warm afterglow

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It will settle to a steadier but still warm afterglow companionate love o Activates different parts of the brain (Aron & others, 2005) o Warm and dependable (Shostak, 1981)
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o Passionate high is fated to become lukewarm The no-longer-romantic relationship becomes taken for granted until it ends The jilted lover and the divorce are surprised at how empty life now seems without the person they long ago stopped feeling passionately attached to Having focused on what was not working they stopped noticing what was (Carlson & Hatfield, 1992) o The cooling of passionate love over time and the growing importance of other factors, such as shared values, can be seen in the feelings of those who enter arranged versus love-based marriages in India Gupta and Singh (1982) Asked 50 couples in Jaipur, India, to complete a love scale They found that those who married for love reported diminishing feelings of love after a five-year newlywed period By contrast, those in arranged marriages reported more love if their marriage was five or more years old o The cooling of intense romantic love often triggers a period of disillusion Especially among those who believe that romantic love is essential both for a marriage and for its continuation Simpson, Campbell, and Berscheid (1986) Suspect “the sharp rise in the divorce rate in the past two decades is linked, at least in part, to the growing importance of intense positive emotional experiences (e.g. romantic love) in people’s lives, experiences that may be particularly difficult to sustain over time” Compared with North Americans Asians tend to focus less on personal feelings and more on the practical aspects of social attachments (Dion & Dion, 1988; Sprecher & others, 1994, 2002) They are less vulnerable to disillusionment Also less prone to the self-focused individualism that in the long run can undermine a relationship and lead to divorce (Dion & Dion, 1991, 1996; Triandis & others, 1988) o The decline in intense mutual fascination may be natural and adaptive for species survival The result of passionate love frequently is children Whose survival is aided by the parents’ waning obsession with each other (Kenrick & Trost, 1987)
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Nevertheless, for those married more than 20 years Some of the lost romantic feeling is often renewed as the family nest empties The parents are once again free to focus their attention on each other (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; White & Edwards, 1990) No man or woman really knows what love is until they have been married a quarter of a century (Mark Twain) If the relationship has been intimate, mutually rewarding, and rooted in a shared life history companionate love deepens What enables close relationships? - Attachment o Different forms of a particular gene predict mammalian pair bonding Injections of hormones such as oxytocin (which is released in females during nursing and during mating) and vasopressin produce good feelings that trigger male-female bonding (Donaldson & Young, 2008)
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  • Fall '16
  • The Hours, partner, Interpersonal relationship, Interpersonal attraction,  Feel

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