These strong emotions are communal people united with

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these strong emotions are communal, people united with their partner and a strong connection is created. Unreturned love leads to feelings of loneliness and despair. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months. According to Hatfield, “passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal lover, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person (Wagner, 2010, p.4).” Passionate love in return than turns into compassionate love. Compassionate love is mutual and this leads to a better interpersonal intimate relationship among loved ones. “While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with the intensity of passionate love, Hatfield suggest that this is rare (Wagner, 2010, p.2).” Hatfield relates a lot of her material into that of a fellow psychologist called John Lee. John Lee is a Canadian psychologist who feels that there are three primary styles to love and three secondary styles to love. He also related love to that of the colors of the color wheel. The three primary styles to love are Eros, Ludos, and Storge. Eros is the physical part as loving the ideal person. Ludos is looking at love as a game. Storge is looking at love as a friendship or
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relational bond between individuals (Wagner, 2010, p.3). Now here is where it gets interesting. The secondary styles a love has to do with comparing love to being insane and that love and insanity is one in the same. The first secondary love styles according to Lee is mania (Eros+ Ludos) which is an obsessive form of love. It is the longing to be with you loved one 24/7 to the point It can become sickening. The second love is pragma (Ludos + Storge) which is relatistic and practical love. The final love style is agape love which is the love that is taught in the church. It is referred to as selfless love (Eros + Storge) (Wagner, 2010, p.4). The diagram above illustrates the chemical bias that makes up love. That is the chemicals involves in what we know as love. As you can see attachment and attraction have a lot to deal with when it comes to who you fall in love with. Earlier in the year we talked about a theorist who created a theory on attachment. This was John Bowlby’s theory of attachment. In his theory he talks about how infants become attached to the caregiver. This is because infants just like anyone else need sensitivity and someone who is responsive in social activity with them. This can also be applied to love. People fall in love and become “attached” to a person who cares for them and is sensitive to their needs. And they will do anything in their power to keep that person because it is a biological necessity.
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