How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less.html

Its also your facial expressions which can be open or

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And body language isn’t just about your body. It’s also your facial expressions, which can be open or closed as well. For example, an open face smiles, makes eye contact and displays clear expressions such as raised eyebrows, while a closed face looks stern and avoids eye contact. Another key to ensuring that people like and trust you is displaying a consistent and congruous message across your whole body, as inconsistencies will bother people. According to former UCLA psychology professor Albert Mehrabian, a prominent figure in the field of communication, credibility depends on the congruity of three communicative aspects: the vocal, the verbal and the visual. In other words, what you say, how you say it and the signals your body sends while you’re saying it all need to be aligned. If they’re not, the other person won’t feel you’re being honest, and both of you will feel unpleasant. Just think of a friend telling you that he’s “fine” while he looks away with crossed arms and taps his foot. It’s not hard to tell that he doesn’t seem fine, which robs his words of their credibility and creates awkwardness. Mirroring mannerisms is natural and can help you make people feel relaxed in your presence. Mimicking others is a fundamentally human trait. In fact, even if you don’t realize it, you’ve been synchronizing yourself with other people since the day you were born: a baby’s body rhythm is literally synchronized with that of its mother. And this tendency to synchronize continues later in life. For instance, an adult’s taste in clothes will often be influenced by that of his or her partner’s. But why does this happen? Does it mean everyone is just a copycat? Actually, it’s completely natural to adapt to others. For instance, when someone smiles at you, you immediately feel a desire to smile back. Similarly, when someone yawns, it makes you want to yawn. And if you’ve ever seen a boxer get punched in the stomach, you know that it makes you feel like wincing in pain, too. This synchronization is a major part of our lives and is especially important when it comes to building rapport. After all, we do seem to prefer people who are in synch with us. We typically feel best when in the company of people whose behavior is in sync with our own, and studies have shown that we even tend to hire and even date people that look like us. But what exactly is meant by synchronization when it comes to increasing your likeability? Specifically, it refers to discreetly copying and subtly imitating the gestures of your conversation partner, as well as their body posture, facial expressions, breathing and tone of voice. Synchronization is especially important for salespeople because a mismatch in communication styles can kill a sales pitch. Imagine a quiet man who’s respectfully and silently perusing an art gallery being accosted by an aggressive salesperson, who stands way too close to him, grabs his shoulder and gregariously praises the pictures. It’s safe to say the salesperson would be better off matching the patron’s own quiet demeanor and respectful manner.
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