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●Reis & Shaver’s Model of Intimacy Development ○A discloses of self-relevant feelings and information —> B’s interpretive filter —> B’s emotional and behavioral response —> A’s interpretive filter —> A’s reaction to B’s response (feels understood/validated/cared for?) ○Motives, needs, goals and fears influence A and B’s interpretive filter AND emotional and behavioral response●Building Intimacy○For deeper intimacy to develop, the roles mush then switch (i.e. the speaker becomes the listener and vice versa) and the same process plays out again (mutual disclosure, validation, and responsiveness) 16
○In order for intimacy to develop then it has to be mutual ○These micro-level interactions play out many times over the course of a relationship and lead to intimacy■This process can be very long (childhood friends), OR relatively short (college friends)●Self Disclosure Outcomes○Lack of self-disclosure (in relationships in general, not just romantic relationships), or psychological inhibition can lead to:■increased risk of physical health problems■increased level of distress around the topic ●Perceived Partner Responsiveness○Rate of “mutual validation” higher in happy couples than unhappy couples■Happy couples: Understood what their partner was telling and agreeing with them “I support you” mutual ■Unhappy couples: people who would only half ass their conversations “i disagree with you” “why would do that?” only one person validates ○Critical to maintaining a positive self-concept○A greater amount of responsiveness is expected from a spousethan from others ●Expected Level of Responsiveness from Low to High○strangers - acquaintances - casual friends - close friends - parents - spouse/child●Inclusion of Other in The Self○Think of intimacy as sharing with your partner that which makes you, you ○When we’re in relationships with people, we include them as an extension of ourselves○This includes:■a communal outlook: “what is good for you is good for me”■similarity in perspectives: “it seems like you really understand politics…”■shared memories, abilities, aims and goals: “we first talked about hiking 17
Pike’s Peak before we got married” ●Relationship Cognition○The mental process of knowing, including awareness, perception○Cognitive Accessibility of Commitment ■person in longer relationship answered faster than person in shorter relationship ○Subjective Construal ■What we perceive is a function of:●what’s out there●what’s in our head■Thus, our perception of the world is egocentric… and not necessarily accurate○Three Components of Social Perception:■1. Characteristics of the stimulus (THE THING)●“objective” features of the target and behavior■2. Characteristics of the perceiver (YOUR THING)●chronic/stable (i.e. personality)●temporary (e.g. mood states, current goals)■3. Characteristics of the context (THINGS AROUND YOU)●cues help us interpret ambiguous events ●Two Routes to Social Perception:○Bottom-up Processing■perceptionsguided by stimulus■input comes from outside■ex: if you were taking a test○Top-down Processing ■perceptionsguided by the perceiver■existing mental representations shape how we view the world ■