All key points covered no intrusive irrelevance 2

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All key points covered No intrusive irrelevance 2 Range of language inadequate for demands of task Tone is regularly inappropriate. Cohesion may be over-simplified and lack natural feel. Little or no accurate complex language Errors sometimes impede communication Poor organisation and/or formatting: reader needs effort to identify key point(s). Text is minimally coherent: reader needs effort to follow ideas and may need to re- One or more key points missing Irrelevance may be intrusive 5 © CPBE 2019
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read. 1.1 What do we mean by ‘effective communication’? Study the two texts below. Both are genuine texts, written in Hong Kong in professional contexts. What are the strong and weak points of each text? Which one do you think is more effective overall? Why? EMAIL A Dear Sir We are terrible sorry to cause your inconvenience. And we also thanks for your feedbacks, it will improve our service for sure. About your comments: 1. Air-conditioning is not work Because of short circuit. Our air conditioner did not work. That’s why your room was hot. Our engineering department staff have fixed. 2. Soaps and shampoos We will plenish shelf in the shower immediately. 3. Shower not water enough Our shower head is paragraphic. Maybe you switch it to the downshift. 4. Sugar and cream The instant coffee in our hotel is 3 in 1. They did put sugar and cream in it already. It’s been our honour to serve you and please don't feel hesitate asking. 6 © CPBE 2019
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EMAIL B Dear Sir/Madam Notice relating to access to Consumer Credit Data held by the Credit Reference Agency Please be informed that prior to the full settlement of all sums and liabilities in respect of the existing consumer credit facilities granted to or guaranteed by you, we may access your consumer credit data held by the credit reference agency MORE THAN ONE TIMES for the purpose of our review of existing consumer credit facilities (for considering an increase in the credit amount; the curtailing of credit (including the cancellation of credit or a decrease in the credit amount); or the putting in place or the implementation of a scheme of arrangement with you as borrower or guarantor (as the case may be). You may also make such request directly to the following credit reference agency: TransUnion Limited (telephone No.: 2577 1816) 7 © CPBE 2019
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Effective writing: a definition Effective writing helps your reader get the message clearly and quickly . This only happens if you are clear about - who your reader is - what your reader needs to know - what your relationship with the reader is - why you are writing have designed a document that i s easy for your reader to use have used common, simple - words - grammar … that your reader will easily understand have maintained a cooperative relationship with your reader.
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