In addition a study that included victims of cheating

This preview shows page 29 - 32 out of 77 pages.

-- In addition, a study that included victims of cheating by a heterosexual partner found thatboth men and women were more likely to report being more upset by sexual infidelity6. Two situations activate jealousy: threat to our self-esteem and threat to the relationship7. Stages of the jealousy response: cognitive, emotional (jealous flash, reapprasial)-- Cognitive -- we make an intitial appraisal of the situation and find that there is a threat-- Emotional-- 2 Phases-- Jealous Flash -- rapid stress response-- Reappraisal -- we rethink the situation and decide how to cope with it8. Behavioral coping responses to jealousy-- Can lead to effective communication; reevaluation of the relationship-- Can be destructive; depression, drug abuse, suicide, aggression9. Attachment style and jealousy
-- Research suggests that one’s attachment style may be an important influence on how anindividual reacts to the threat.-- Secure = healthy expression / Anxious = most intense anger, lack of expressionE. Research on Love (Pages 289-292 in 12th edition; pages 279-283 in 11th edition)1. Hatfield and Sprecher developed a paper-and-pencil measurement of passionate love2. Love and adrenaline are the components of the two-component theory of love3. Cross-cultural research identifies two dimensions on which cultures vary.4. Individualism-collectivism-- China, Africa, and the southeast Asian countries-- emphasize group and collective goals over personal ones5. Independence-interdependence-- U.S., Canada, and the western European countries-- emphasize individual goals over group and societal goals and interestsF. Communication (Pages 292-301 in 12th edition; pages 283-291 in 11th edition): Communication and relationships, being an effective communicator, fighting fair, checking our sexy signals-- Studies provide evidence that unrewarding, ineffective communication precedes and predicts laterrelationship problems-- Marriage counselors and therapists try to help couples by teaching them communication techniques andskills-- Downside:Some individuals use these skills to send negative messages-- Result:Therapists should focus on the couples intent when communicating, not just the
techniques. DONT SWEAT THE TECHNIQUE-- Gottman (1994): Negative messages-- Criticism: refers to attacking a partner’s personality or character “You are selfish!”-- Contempt:intentionally insulting or orally abusing the other person “How did I end up withsuch a loser..”-- Defensiveness: Denying responsibility, making excuses, replying with a complaint of one’sown, and making other self-protective responses instead of addressing theproblem-- Withdrawal:involves such actions as responding to the partner’s complaint with silence,turning on the TV, or walking out of the room in anger-- All lead to an escalation of hostility rather than a solution-- Effective Communicator-- Intent: what you mean-- Impact: what the other person thinks you mean-- Effective communicator = person’s impact matches their intent-- Planning a strategy can be very effective -- timing, not speaking out of anger-- Good Messages-- “I” Language:

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture

  • Left Quote Icon

    Student Picture