View cheating as a “socially acceptable” way to even the score in the relationship Attempt to hurt the unfaithful partner in an equivalent manner o “Cheating prone” personalities Individual difference approach Emphasizes the “personal readiness” to cheat Personality correlates Sociosexual orientation Restricted v. unrestricted Discovering infidelity o Unsolicited partner discovery Your partner tells you that they are cheating/have cheated on you. o Solicited discovery Your/your partner has suspicions that you/they are cheating, and the accused admits to the unfaithful behavior.
o Unsolicited third party discovery Someone informs you that your partner is cheating on you, although you did not prompt the conversation. o Red handed discovery You catch your partner cheating on you. Relationship quality [change] o Unsolicited partner discovery: -0.76 Suggests that the partner is willing to change the behavior o Solicited information: -1.14 o Unsolicited third party: -1.32 o Red handed: -1.33 Forgiveness o Unsolicited partner discovery: 4.91 o Solicited: 4.42 o Red handed: 4.00 o Unsolicited third party: 3.77 Likely a result of social embarrassment Cues [patterns] to infidelity o Angry, critical, argumentative o Changes in normal routine and sexual behavior o Apathetic toward partner o Increased sexual interest o Exaggerated displays of affection o Sexual disinterest/boredom o Expresses relationship dissatisfaction o Emotional disengagement o Physical signs of infidelity (i.e., lipstick on the collar, text messages, etc.) o Spending increased time with others o Acts guilty and anxious o Changing passwords, restricting access to cell phone, etc. o Increased grooming behaviors Bottom line: Don’t cheat on your partner.
Divorce/Break-up 12/15/12 4:22 AM ° Theories on what underlies divorce Enduring dynamics model o People bring problems to the marriage; thus, it is weak from the start. Disillusionment model o People are initially blind to each other’s faults. In time, reality erodes fictions, and people are less charming. Emergent distress model o Couples start out fine, but some quickly fall into ruts of negative behavior patterns. Support for theories o Enduring dynamics Differences in newlywed happiness predicted ultimate levels of happiness. More negativity initially, and less responsiveness, predicted unhappiness. Divorce, on average, 7 years into the marriage o Disillusionment Sharp declines in affection, love, and perceived responsiveness predicted divorce [despite high levels of initial passion]. Likely to divorce within 2 years of marriage o Emerging distress Little evidence supports this model, which is not to say that it absolutely does not exist.
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