Cohabitation before engagement is a larger risk factor for poor marital

Cohabitation before engagement is a larger risk

This preview shows page 81 - 91 out of 116 pages.

Cohabitation before engagement is a larger risk factor for poor marital outcomes than is cohabitation before marriage If you’re living together just to test the waters before marrying the person you were doomed from the start Cohabitation is a big investment that can propel couples to marry, regardless of their initial intentions (slippery slope)
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+ Commitment The subjective experience of dependence Closeness, attachment, loyalty, obligation Intention to remain Long-term orientation
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+ The investment model People who are more satisfied will be more committed to the relationship Cost vs. Rewards= Outcomes Expectancies (CL) Outcomes >CL Alternatives (more alternatives less commitment) Other potential partners Specific or general No relationship Investments Irretrievable resources Children, house, money Joint social networks Time, emotions
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+ Commitment and its consequences Stay/Leave Behavior Perspective talking, more understanding Accommodation Derogation of alternatives (don’t try to find any possible alternatives, do not look around and find potential alternatives) Willingness to sacrifice Illusions/perceived relationship superiority (think your relationship is the best) Fidelity
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+ Intimacy The process of developing closeness in a relationship and the feelings associated with that closeness
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+ Building Intimacy Two key Components Self Disclosure Personally relevant and revealing facts thoughts, or feelings Non-verbal cues can also convey a great deal in the self- disclosure process Can be factual (“I’ve had ____ sexual partners in my life”) or emotional (“I’ve had a hard time trusting people after my last relationship”) Emotional ones may be more important, as they reveal the individual’s self-definition
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+ The experimental generation of Interpersonal closeness 36 questions in 45 minutes Paired Students Small talk Close talk Those engaged in deeper questions reported being more close Avoidant/anxious pairs reported less closeness Preoccupied partners had greater discrepancies Extroverts get close without being told to
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+ Relationship Cognition 2/17/15
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+ Reading: Q10: Isn’t being too close to a partner a bad thing?
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