Identity conflict incompatibility between 2 or more aspects of one’s identity (competition between desire to succeed and desire to settle down, with a graduated university student involved in a serious romantic relationship) Resolution of identity crisis: 1. Decide which values are most important (put more emphasis on this, transform values into actual behaviour) 2. Transform these into desires and behaviours Lecture 15: Personality and Social Interaction Mechanisms of social interaction: selection (may choose certain social settings, choosing to be in relationships, what are you interested in, in intimate relationships), evocation (why some couples may be more prone to arguments then others, or how they get over a fight), manipulation (what traits have most salience with being manipulative) Eharmony uses the big 5, to determine who you may have a long last relationship with Marriage partners: over 10,00 participants worldwide (use NEO-PI-R, what do other people see as important in their current relationships); main findings: most favoured characteristic=mutual attraction and lover; slightly less important = dependability, emotional stability, pleasing disposition What makes a good relationship? Mutual love and attraction, wants family/kids Want someone who is reliable, dedicated to the relationship (high levels of consciousness), pleasing disposition (agreeable, more able to solve conflict), low levels of neuroticism Assortative mating: attraction similarity theory attracted to someone who is some similar to them (someone who is neat is attracted to someone who is neat) people tend to be happier in relationships
that are similar, assortative mating (is it that we are in similar geographic areas, such as people in the same town, or education; but is this due to proximity?); complimentary needs theory (someone who is more extraverted is attracted to an introvert) But is this due to proximity? Ones personality preference in a partner AND peoples own personality (via: self, partner and independent reports; 2 forms of observer report and 1 form of sdata); main findings correlations were consistently positive; people who sore high on a particular trait prefer partners high in that same trait; conclusion correlations in part due to social preference (we have a tendency to prefer people who are somewhat like us; some people may place more similarity on some dimensions more than others) Do married people get what they want? People happy when partner is high in agreeableness (empathy, sympathy, compassion, pleasing disposition), emotional stability (in low may lead to irritability and worry), conscientiousness (want someone who is committed), openness (more open to different perspectives, try different things, open to discuss things/negotiate); not the case when one partners personality and his/her ideal personality in another do not match (personality traits may very from person to person) Personality and selective breakup: violation of desire theory (if not getting what they want tend to be
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