Activities delighting in similarities and mutually

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activities, delighting in similarities, and mutually supporting Self-other integration intertwined self-concepts (Slotter & Gardener, 2009) o Cultivate closeness by experiences that mirror the escalating closeness of budding friendships (Arons & others, 1997) Paired volunteer students who were strangers to each other for 45 minutes For the first 15 minutes They shared thoughts on a list of personal but low- intimacy topics e.g. “When did you last sing to yourself?” The next 15 minutes Spent on more intimate topics e.g. “What is your most treasured memory?” The last 15 minutes Invited even more self-disclosure, with questions e.g. “Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share . . .’” and “When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”
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Compared with control participants who spent the 45 minutes in small talk Those who experienced the escalating self-disclosure ended the hour feeling remarkably close to their conversation partners Demonstrated how readily a sense of closeness to others can grow Given open self-disclosure o Promote self-disclosure in ongoing dating relationships (Slatcher & Pennebaker, 2006) Invited one member of 86 couples to spend 20 minutes on each of three days writing their deepest thoughts and feelings about the relationship In control Writing merely about their daily activities Those who pondered and journaled their feelings expressed more emotion to their partners in the days following Three months later, 77% were still dating compared to control group (52%) How do relationships end? - Divorce o To predict a culture’s divorce rates It helps to know its values (Triandis, 1994) Individualistic cultures have more divorce than do communal cultures Individualists expect more passion and personal fulfillment in a marriage Puts greater pressure on the relationship (Dion & Dion, 1993) o Enduring relationships Rooted in enduring love and satisfaction Also in fear of the termination cost, a sense of moral obligation and inattention to possible alternative partners (Adams & Jones, 1997; Maner & others, 2009; Miller, 1997) o Risk of divorce also depends on who marries whom (Fergusson & others, 1984; Myers, 2000a; Tzeng, 1992) People usually stay married if they Married after age 20 Both grew up in stable, two-parent homes Dated for a long while before marriage Are well and similarly educated Enjoy a stable income from a good job Live in a small town or on a farm
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Did not cohabit or become pregnant before marriage Are religiously committed Are of similar age, faith, and education None of those predictors by itself is essential to a stable marriage Correlates of enduring marriages not necessarily causes - The detachment process o Severing bonds produces a predictable sequence of agitated preoccupation with the lost partner Followed by deep sadness Eventually the beginnings of emotional detachment
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  • Fall '16
  • The Hours, partner, Interpersonal relationship, Interpersonal attraction,  Feel

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