* RECIPROCITY ● LOVE ○ Which Are more romantic? Men or women? ---- which one is it? MEN ARE MORE ROMANTIC ○ Women ■ Relationship focus ● Emotionally expressive ● In touch with feelings ● tend their relationship ○ Men ■ Subscribe to romantic leaders ■ Report falling in love QUICKLY ■ Say I <3 YOU FIRST ■ First sight love ○ Marrying for Love ■ Marriage has little to do with love ● 1967--78% of women, 35% of men ● 1991--9% of women, 14% of men ○ in response to question: marrying someone who has all your characteristics you’re looking for but not in love with them. Everyone wants love these days as compared to before
■ Americans are no long exclusive to thinking love as a requirement of marriage ● Majority of western and eastern nations value <3 ○ Settling ■ Is a problem with approach? ● There are different types of love ○ Valid ways of loving ○ Love changes over time ○ Love means different things ■ Sacrifice & Investment ● RUBIN 1970 ○ Studied b/c around this time love had a more central role in relationships ○ Used a survey to tap into what <3 means ■ scale on <3 difficult to tap into all ways ● Sternberg 1986 ○ Triangular theory of love ■ 3 MAJOR THINGS ● Passion- Hot n Bothered, INFATUATION ● Intimacy- Closeness , LIKING ● Commitment- Decision, EMPTY LOVE ○ Love partner involvement ○ Work to maintain relationship ○ Remain and person is ctd. to be rewarding to us ■ MARRIAGE ○ Components of Triangle ■ Passion & Intimacy--Romantic Love ■ Intimacy & Commitment-- Companionate Love ■ Passion & Commitment-- Fatuous Love ■ Passion, Intimacy, & Commitment-- Consumate Love (WINNN) ■ None-- Non-Love Passionate Love v. Companionate Love · “I love you…but I’m not in love with you” · I love you is companionate, I love you as a person · In love with you, passionate love Passionate Love (or intense romantic love) · Put simply: passionate love has cognitive, emotional, and behavioral characteristics o Cognitive characteristics: § Intense focused attention § Obsessive thinking o Affective (emotional) characteristic:
§ Euphoria: a feeling of intense happiness § Emotional dependency § Increased energy o Behavioral characteristics § Seeking proximity § Sexual bidding · Also: characterized by physiological arousal o Physiological responses attributed to partner · Belief the other is the cause of that arousal o The shaky bridge study Tuesday, Feb 7 2012 ● LOVE ctd. ○ Love is characterized by affective behavioral cognitive aspects ■ Passionate love ● [VIDEO] Dan in real life ○ I love him, I LOVE YOU ○ True love v. sexual attraction ■ Best possible version of self ■ YOU ARE A MURDERER OF LOVE ahah ● Cross-cultural understanding phenomena ○ Underlying physiology?
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