But i can hear you thinking what the hell does he

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But I can hear you thinking, "What the hell does he know? He doesn't know how I feel. He doesn't know what I've been through. And he can't possibly know what's best for me.” Well, you've got me there. Everything you may have just thought is absolutely true. I don't know you. I don't know your circumstances. I don't know what is best for you. But I do know one thing: If you kill yourself, this conversation is finished and so is every other conversation you may ever have. And once you are gone, it won't matter much whether you had a right to die or not.
13 So for now let's agree about something. Let's agree that even though suicide is against the civil laws of the land and against whatever God you may believe in, and against what your friends and family believe in, you and I both know that you can still kill yourself. If you really want to end your own life, you can. I certainly can't stop you, your friends can't stop you, your parents can't stop you, and the police can't stop you. Even if they put you in a hospital for a few days to a few weeks, you can always stop talking about suicide and promise the doctors you won't do it and then, when they let you out, you can go ahead and kill yourself. So, you and I both know something. We know that when we get right down to it, there is only one person who can decide whether you will live or you will die. And it isn't me. Right? . Right.
15 CHAPTER 4 ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE? When I told a friend I was writing this book he said, "Well, I guess as long as they continue reading it, they haven't made a final decision to die." And so, since I still have your attention, I am going to assume that you haven't made the ultimate decision just yet. Or maybe even if you have, you might be willing to reconsider. As someone once said of the person who had really and finally and once-and- for-all made up his mind to kill himself, "He died ten minutes ago.' What I hope is true of you at this moment is that you are still uncertain about taking your own life. And because I have talked to hundreds of suicidal people, I can make a pretty good guess that you, even in your darkest hour, remain torn between ending your life and trying to go on with it. This is as it should be and, though it may not make you feel any better, almost all people considering suicide remain unsure about taking their own lives- even up to the moment they make an attempt. I can still remember interviewing a woman who had jumped from a bridge into a rushing river and survived. She had worn her raincoat because, as she put it, "I didn't want to get wet." If I can make another guess about what has been going on inside your head and heart, it is that you have had long and difficult discussions with yourself about whether to live or die. In the psychology business, we call this ambivalence.

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