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him in three days when I worked and would spend the night on my work nights fromthen on. Six months after leaving, my oldest daughter was very irritated with me and I couldn't figure out why. After much proding and asking her if it was because she was mad at me for leaving her day, she said, "If you knew it was going to be this much better when you left dad, why did you make us stay so long? Why did you make me sit there with him yelling at me when we could have come here?" So for all of you that think divorce is bad, and leads to adolescent drinking or drugs and whatever else those things say, living with a parent that yells and threatens and emotionally abuses you is worse!
Do you think some of the theories are lacking in that they assume that either all members are reasonable/ sane or have the ability to be reasonable/ sane?Reply| Quote & ReplyNov 06, 2015 06:56 AM0 LikeKim Kooser 14 postsRe:Re:Re:Re:Re:Topic 4 DQ 1Thank you for yur post Rebecca! What a perfect way to start my morning. As far a the question you posed at the end, I think it definitely depends on the person. As far as my ex-husband, he did not accept any of the blame and still lives on in denial. I definitely took on alot even in areas that I probably did not deserve it. But that is mypersonality. I am a "fixer" and I wasnt able to fix this no matter how I tried. I think now, after much counseling" rather than blaming myself, I am able to look at my past marriage honestly and acknowledge my shortcomings and also what I was goodat. I think this is important so that history does not repeat itself. Praise Jesus that we are forgiven and that I have been given second chance.Reply| Quote & Reply| Report AbuseNov 06, 2015 04:55 PM0 LikeSubstantive PostMelissa Marsh 6 postsRe:Re:Re:Topic 4 DQ 1Past relationships can bring anxiety or habits into a new relationship and contaminate the relationship. It is important to deal with these past stressors promptly, because it is our nature to repeat behaviors, and if people continue to sabotage the relationship, than they are going to end up like the rest of the remarriages-divorced. It is difficult for anyone to accept responsibility for past mistakes, or even current ones, but it is a necessary task to foster the current relationship and build a strong foundation built on trust and communication. Cultureis also equally important, because blending families of different cultures brings its own set of stressors. Family members need time to adjust and understand that they aren't necessarily going to like the other siblings right away, and that building this relationship takes time. With so many remarriages ending in divorce, can one make an assumption that culturally we are doing something wrong? Is America supportingescaping the situation of a bad marriage with divorce, or helping to build better relationships with techniques to heal these relationships? Also, as a whole, because of technicalities like alimony and prenuptials is America afraid to marry or divorce because of financial or lifestyle constraints? Is that even a fair statement?