1Interpersonal Communication Flashcards

Terms Definitions
Particular Others
Those specific people that are most important to us
Particular Others
interview structure
3 steps:
Pretending to listen
Fearful Attachment Style
Caregiver communicates in an negative and fearful way
Fearful Attachment Style
Continuous, transactional process involving participants who occupy different but overlapping environments and create relationships through the exchange of messages, many of which are affected by external, physiological phychological noise.
Physical Abuse
Threats of violence
Content Dimension
actual message itself
Predictive generalizations about things
ability to communicate effectively
1)weakening of bonds, dissatisfaction is experienced,withdrawal, awkward silence,less physical contact,conflicts,negative messages and deception increase
2)attempt to fix relationship. analyze what went wrong and try to solve problems
3)cutting the bonds that tie you together.  THE END
delphi method
-no interaction; use questionaires
-good when ppl are geographically distant
-minimize dominant members and peer pressure
 1)define problem
2)individuals contribute 5 ideas in writing
3) all ideas are combined and memebers are asked to select a certain number of best ideas from list
4)another list is then produced and members are asked to select 1 or 2 best ideas
5)another list is produced..(happens about 3 times)
6) final solutions identified and told to all members
Communication Competence
Effective communication involves achieving one's goals in a manner that, ideally maintains of enhances the relationship in which it occurs.
Interpersonal Committment: 2 people commit to each other in a private way
Social Bonding: commitment is made public
Building a solution through negotiation and acceptance of parts of proposals for resolution.
Fact conflict
conflict concerning message accuracy.
Consists of beliefs, values, understandings, practices, etc…
interdependent, spend time with others, power dynamics
Social Comparison
Comparing ourselves to others
affixing fault on another peron
further advancing the relationship, first testing each other and then intensifying your interaction
gay/lesbian/etc status revealed by someone in public without the consent of the gay/lesbian/etc individual
Effective leaders
influence and persuade otherslistenseek first to understand, then to be understoodlisten to your favorite topic: ourselvessay your favorite word: our namesbe a great question asker and an active listener
group task roles
ex. evaluator/critic, information seeker, opinion giver, recorder, procedural technician
-help group focus on achieving its goal.
-members serve several roles alternated frequently
Misconceptions Of Communication
Communication solves all problems.
Relaitonship Repair Steps
Interpersonal repair
use productive communication and conflict resolution

Intrapersonal Repair
Both need to do this
a feeling characterized by closeness and caring through intimacy, passion and commitment. It can be developed, maintained, enhanced but can be also destroyed through communication.
Decision to remain with a relationship, one of three dimension of enduring romantic relationships, has more impact on relationship continuity than does love alone.
Intercultural cross-cultural understanding
- Cognitive constraints: schemata. What is a friend? trustworthy- Behavior constraints: appropriateness. How do we act with friends?- Emotional constraints: Processing feelings. How deeply we must feel for someone to call them a friend?
His needs
1) Sexual fulfillment
2) Recreational companionship
3) An attractive spouse
4) Domestic support
5) Admiration
Theories of Relationship Development
Uncertainty Reductoin Theory
Attraction Theory
Rules Theory
Social Exchange Theory
Equity Theory
Physiological = From our bodyPhysical = Bright lights, temperatures, actual noisePsychological = Prejudice, cultureSemantic = Words themselve not understood
Is there intimacy in just marriages?
Use schemata to organize and interpret1
behavior that is descriptive rather than evaluative and provisional rather than certain.
an attitude of an idividual or an atmosphere in a group that is characterized by openess, absence of fear, and a feeling of quality
verbal aggressiveness
unporductive conflict strategy in which one person tries to win an argument by inflicting psychological pain, by attacking the other person's self-concept
negative politeness
avoidance baised, assurances of understanding, respecting negative face and won't interfere with their freedom of action forgiveness, formality, apology, hedgingbecomes their decision, when asking rather than demanding
Information giving - sd
ex) Doctor visits
4 types of interview schedule
1)nonscheduled-extremely open Qs
2)moderately scheduled-main Qs that are open and certain specific Qs
3)Highly scheduled-read off paper, more rigid
4)Standardized-like M.C., always the same
Dewey and reflective thinking
1)identify problem
2)state basic objective/goal
3)state constraints, assumptions and facts
4)generate poss solutions (use creative thinking)
5)evaluate and make decision
6)analysis (seperate chosen poss solution into meaningful elements)
7) synthesis (combine together for detailed soultion)
8)evaluate solution (does it meet basic goal? is it safe? feasable?practical?legal?ethical?moral?)
9)report results and make recommendations
10)implement decision
11)checl results (did solution work?)
What you see is what you get
Formal description of the process of communication
Needs of Friendship
Utility: friend who is useful
Ego support: supporting and encouraging
Stimulation: introduces you to new ideas and ways of seeing the world
Security: someone who does nothing to hurt you or call attention to your foibles
Secondary style of loving that is practical in nature, a blend of storge and ludus.
Secondary style of loving that is selfless and based on giving to others, not receiving rewards or returns from them. Blend of eros and storage.
Complex process that consist of being minful, hearing, selecting and organizing information, interpreting communication, responding, and remembering.
Gottman’s Couple Types
- Volatile: very emotionally expressive of good and bad emotions; disagreements seen as a sign of caring-Validating: more moderate emotional expression; view themselves as a team; value companionship -Conflict avoiding: minimize or avoid conflict; build solidarity; may be very empathic about partner’s needs.
• We can’t attend to every thing in our environment, because there is far too much going on in and around us, and we don’t view most of it as relevant to us at any given moment.
Value conflict
conflict over the deep-seated beliefs people hold about what is good or bad, worthwhile or worthless, desirable or undesirable, moral or immoral.
Define the Conflict
Define content and relationship issues, be specific, focus on present
Implicit Personality Theory
Unspoken and unconscious assumptions about qualities in labels. Outgoing means fun, friendly…
What are successful relationships based on
similar attention styles
the capacity to influence the behavior of others and to resist their influence on yourself
Reflected Appraisal
Communications with peers, how others see us
Reflected Appraisal
polite word or phrase used to substitute for some taboo or less polite term or phrase
disagree with the person; you indicate your unwillingness to accept something the other person says or does
fact-inference confusion
barrier to clear judgment where inference is taken for fact
topics or language that should be avoided, especially by outsiders
story teller
tells stories, too oftne substituting them for two-way conversation
silent periods in the normally fluent stream of speech

2 Types

filled or vocalized pauses filled with er, um, etc
unfilled pauses that are silent
objective listening
goes beyond empathy and measures meaning and feelings against some objective reality
Exploitative fighting
hitting below the belt, morality, blaming the other for something they can't control, comparisons, indirect fighting, overemotional, hit and run, violence
2 types of Information sharing groups
1)Educational/learning groups-variety of discussion pattens:chronological/spatial,cause/effect, problem/solution, structure/function or topical
2) Focus groups-indepth interview of a small group focused on an issue or product. leader tries to discover members beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and feelings to guide decisions.
Cognitive Complexity
 Characteristics of competent communication
A variety of frame works for viewing an issue. (empathy)
relates to the standards we use for judging whether something is right or wrong.
I win, you win
Your concern is with both your own and the other person's needs
Usually present in the later stages of constructive conflict.
Social proof principle
behavior ways others around do~ “this is what’s popular” (indirect canned laughter)
What is the term for things that interfere with the transmission of a message?
Uncertainty Reductoin Theory
Process of reducing the uncertainty about each other
Interactive Models
Message > Decoding > Feedback > Encoding > Message again. Still has problems.
Describe relational de-escalation -
When conflict is repeatedly ineffectiveFrequently, one party will decide to end it (leaver, and left)
Liking-Disclosure Hypothesis
more you like someone, more you disclose to them
We assume we know what others thinks, feels, or perceives
expectancy violation theory
explains what happens when you increase or decrease the distance between yourself and another person
artifactual communication
messages conveyed by objects that are made by hunan hands
relationship dimension
demension of messages that comments on the relationship between the speakers rather than on matters external to them
study of the ways in which computer technology and computer mediated communication generally serve persuasive functions
halo effect
if you believe that someone has positive qualities you are likely to infer that they also possess other positive qualities
factual statement
made by observer after observation and limited to what is observed
withdrawal reaction to territorial encroachment
you leave the scene
cognitive labeling theory
you experience emotions according the following steps 1) event occurs 2) you respond physiologically 3) you interpret the arousal - you decide what emotions you are experiencing 4) you experience the emotion
does not take place in real time; email for example
try to win an argument byphysically or emotionally overpowering the other person
cultural dimension
beliefs and customs of the people communicating
declaration of love-pseudo-reciprocation of love
instances when the other partner's readiness to reciprocate "I love you" is incorrectly assessed. There's a confusion
NONVERBAL techniques for CLOSE of interview
-lean foward
-straighten up
-stand up
-move away
-uncross legs places hands on knees
-shake hands
-look at time
person who comes up with an idea or thought to be communicated
One of three primary styles of love. This style is playful love in which the goal is not commitment but to have fun at love as a game or a series of challenges and maneuvers.
rational-emotive approach to feelings
Using rational thingking to clallenge and change debilitating emotions that undermine self-concept and self exteem.
What theory is similar to a P&L?
Social Exchange Theory
5 Purposes of Interpersonal communication
Learn Relate Influence Help Play
Categories of Sexual Harassment
Quid pro quo harassment: employment opportunities are dependent on granting sexual favors
Hostile environment harassment: broader e.g. telling sexual jokes
a set of norms that applies to a specific subclass within the society
Ego Boundaries
Where the world stops and the person begins
social comparison process
process by which you compare yourself with others and then assess and evaluate yourself on the basis of comparison; a source of self-concept
cultural assimilation
process by which a person's culture is given up and taking on values and beliefs of another culture
personal distance
a protective bubble that allows you to stay protected and untouched by others
active listening
process of sending back to the speaker what you think the speaker meant both in content and feeling
Couples and sd
1) Matching2) Why not? - attribution conflict3) Satisfaction - more disclosure, if matching4) Relation length - disclosure goes down unless there's a big change5) working vs at home
4 perceptual processes
1. what the situation is
2. who the other person is
3. who you are and what kind of relationship between other and self is implied
4. why patterens unfold the way they do 
Listening to support others
One of three goals of listening, focuses more on the relationship level of meaning than on the content level, aims to understand and respond to others in ways that affirm them.
Social power and persuasion/compliance
amount of power influences use of compliance, gaining, credibility and success in influence. Examples: -Greater resources: more likely to bully others. -Less resources: more likely to use altering emotions hints.
Define Dyadic Coalition
When people form groups with a common goal (ie survivor)
distinguish between intrarole and interrole conflict and give example of each
intrarole is when you have contradictory expectations for the same role and interrole is when you have to enact two roles at the same timeintrarole = being a parent means being the discipline and confidant, how to you discipline if your child has just confided in youinterrole = authority, your friend breaks the rules, but you have to report them, torn between being a friend and being the authority
detour taker
begins to talk about a topic and then goes off persuing a totally different subject
Persistent affective
"You were a loser then and you're a loser now."all the time
Neglect response
1 of 4 wyas to respond to conflict; to deny or minimize problems, passive and tends to be destructive.
What are the four major types of relationships?
Family, Friend, Work, Romantic
What is unknown self?
things no one, not even you, know about you
Perspectives of the Generalized Other
Views that others in society generally believe
Perspectives of the Generalized Other
Other beliefs
Listening Stage 1: Receiving
note not only what is said verbally and non-verbally but also what is omitted
Comparison Level for Alternatives (CLalt)
how we evaluate relationships based on realistic alternatives, how likely we are to leave a satisfying relationship for a better one
Communication as action (action model)
communication is thought of as a one way process.
What are 2 things that indicate the intimacy phase?
Commitment - private bondingSocial bonding - involving friends
monochronic or polychronic time orientations
monochronic - schedule on thing at a time
polychronic - schedule multiple things at the same time
List the top 6 affinity seeking strategies
1. Help someone else.
2. Lead (Take charge)
3. Include (the other person in social circle)
4. Open up (disclose)
5. Appear interesting,attractive,independent
6. Exposure (Be around other person) 
Describe phase 2 of Interpersonal relationships
Phase 2 is involvement - the start of testing
eye contact to signal the nature of the relationship
used to indicate negative or positive regard
What are the 5 methods of testing in Phase 2
1. Direct (ask) 2. Indirect (mention something and watch respose 3. Public presentation (use the "boyfriend" term casually and see what happens 4. Separation - withdraw and watch the reaction 5. Ask 3rd party (friend)
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