Thinking Errors and Filters Flashcards

Terms Definitions
Magnifying negative details while filtering out all positive aspects of the situation.
Polarized Thinking
Viewing things as either black or white. There is no middle ground.
Over Generalization
Using a single incident or piece of evidence to conclude that things will always happen that way.
Mind Reading
Assuming you know what people are feeling, thinking, and why they act the way they do.
Expecting disaster... "What if that happens to me?" "What if I can't handle it?"
Thinking that everything people do or say is in reaction to you. You compare yourself to others trying to determine who's better looking, smarter, etc.
Control Fallacies
Feeling externally controlled. You see yourself as a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you.
Fallacy of Fairness
Feeling resentful because you think you know what's fair but others don't agree with you.
Holding others responsible for your pain or blaming yourself for every problem that happens in your life.
Having a list of strict rules about how you and other people should act. People who break these rules anger you and you feel guilty if you violate them.
Emotional Reasoning
Believeing that what you feel must be true automatically. If you feel unattractive and stupid, you ARE unattractive and stupid.
Fallacy of Change
Expecting that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness depend entirely on those around you.
Global Labeling
Generalizing one or two qualities into negative global judgements.
Being Right
Proving continually that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness.
Heaven's Reward Fallacy
Expecting all of your sacrifices and self-denial to pay off, as if someone were keeping score. You feel bitter when the reward doesn't come.
Victim Stance
Avoiding problems, refusing responsibility, and blaming others are examples of victim stance. It is used to invite either criticism or rescue from others or leave others feeling responsible and helpless.
Excuse Making
Finding an explanation to avoid and to justify your behavior. Excuses are given whenever someone tries to hold you accountable.
Explaining the reason for your actions in an effort to make it seem okay. It recognizes the behavior BUT not that it was wrong to do.
Answering a different question (one you want to answer) rather than the one which you were asked. This is used to shift the focus off you and your behavior.
Unrealistic Expectations
Believing that things are a certain way or will be a certain way just because you believe it. This permits you to function according to what you want rather than according to the facts of the situations.
Lying is used to confuse others, to distort information, to avoid taking responsibility and to make fools out of others. Three types of lying: Commission, Omission, and Assent
Making Fools of Others
This is how lying affects others. This is done by “getting over on" someone in authority by conning or fooling them.
Putting others down for real or imagined faults. This uses everything you perceive as positive as a way to build yourself up in order to feel superior to another.
Refusing to back down, even on little points. Even when proven wrong, you cling to initial position and insist on your point of view.
Believing you know what others feel, think, or are doing without checking out the facts and then guiding your actions by these beliefs as if they are true.
"I'm Unique" Attitude
Acting as though you are so unique and special that the rules for others do not apply to you. It allows you to shut others out and say you do not need any help.
Loan Sharking
Pretending to be nice to others while manipulating them to feel like they owe you something for your efforts.
Inconsistent Personality
Focusing on your positive attributes and viewing all behavior as consistent with your own positive belief about yourself. "If I like it, okay. If not, to hell with it."
Making certain behaviors seem insignificant or unimportant. It is most often seen when the individual is confronted with some irresponsible behavior.
Purposely being unclear to avoid being pinned down on an issue. It is an attempt to look good and say the right things without really committing to anything.
Trying to control and manipulate others through fear and intimidation. Anger is expressed through tantrums, aggressive behaviors, blame, and threatening others.
Power Plays
Ending communication in an attempt to force others to give in. These passive aggressive behaviors are meant to hurt others or make them feel bad or guilty in ways which make it difficult to discuss the problem openly.
Generating excitement at another's expense: setting up fights, hurting people or animals, and committing crimes. Drama/excitement is employed because the individual has not developed the skill to get his or her needs met directly.
Closed Channeling
Being secretive, closed minded, self righteous, and refusing to listen to information about yourself from others. This is used to maintain the belief that no one is smarter than you and that you can't be wrong regardless of the situation.
Believing that anything you want (other people or their possessions) are yours simply because you want it. It allows you to treat other people like objects to be used and manipulated.
Creating the illusion of power, intelligence, or invincibility. You walk, talk, and behave in ways that support the image created in your mind which prevents any true self discovery.
Making a problem appear so totally overwhelming or completely unimportant that avoiding the whole issue is justified.
"I Can't" Attitude
A statement of inability. Realize that "I can't" means "I won't" and usually has refusal. Replace "can't" with "won't" reference to doing that which he doesn't feel like doing.
Failure to Put Yourself in the Place of Others
Little or no empathy unless it is to manipulate someone else. This individual does not stop to think how his actions affect others.
Lack of Effort
Being unwilling to do anything which seems boring or disagreeable. Doing what you want to do rather than what needs to be done or what is expected.
No Concept of Trust
He blames you for not trusting him, tries to make you feel it is your fault, and says he can't trust you.
Flawed Definition of Success/Failure
Defining success as being #1 overnight and failure being less than #1 and therefore considering yourself a zero.
Failure to Consider Injury to Others
The outcome of all his other thinking errors. He does not view himself as injuring anyone. Rarely injures by direct attack, instead he causes them anguish by his whole way of life, or he exploits them without their knowledge.
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