How to Win Friends and Influence People | Study Guide

Dale Carnegie

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Course Hero. "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide." Course Hero. 15 Nov. 2017. Web. 23 July 2018. <https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/>.

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Course Hero. (2017, November 15). How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide. In Course Hero. Retrieved July 23, 2018, from https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/

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Course Hero. "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide." November 15, 2017. Accessed July 23, 2018. https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/.

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Course Hero, "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide," November 15, 2017, accessed July 23, 2018, https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/.

How to Win Friends and Influence People | Part 3, Chapter 2 : How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (A Sure Way of Making Enemies—and How to Avoid It) | Summary

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Key Takeaways

  • Telling someone they're wrong creates resentment and resistance. The person you're criticizing may take the criticism as a challenge or personal attack—and they are unlikely to change their mind.
  • To make the conversation go smoother when disagreements occur, use diplomatic, polite phrases such as "I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let's examine the facts."
  • People are often illogical and subject to prejudice and bias. Some may cling to or defend beliefs simply because they don't want to change their minds. Being challenged can threaten a person's self-esteem.
  • Try to understand the other person's statements rather than automatically evaluate or judge what they say.
  • Do not be harsh or dogmatic in expressing your opinions, and avoid being a know-it-all. Use expressions such as "I imagine" or "it ... appears to me" to soften assertions. Rather than taking pleasure in arguing, point out how the other person might be right. Disagree respectfully.
  • When presenting ideas that may not be well received, offer "low-keyed suggestions" to lead listeners to discover the ideas for themselves as they work through the information.
  • During disagreements with customers, "winning" an argument may cause you to lose the customer's goodwill or business. Avoid this risk by asking friendly questions to elicit the truth of the matter, without laying blame or baiting the other person into an argument.
  • Principle: "Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 'You're wrong.'"
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