How to Win Friends and Influence People | Study Guide

Dale Carnegie

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Course Hero. "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide." Course Hero. 15 Nov. 2017. Web. 26 Sep. 2018. <https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/>.

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Course Hero. (2017, November 15). How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide. In Course Hero. Retrieved September 26, 2018, from https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/

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Course Hero. "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide." November 15, 2017. Accessed September 26, 2018. https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/.

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Course Hero, "How to Win Friends and Influence People Study Guide," November 15, 2017, accessed September 26, 2018, https://www.coursehero.com/lit/How-to-Win-Friends-and-Influence-People/.

How to Win Friends and Influence People | Part 4, Chapter 2 : Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment (How to Criticize—and Not Be Hated for It) | Summary

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Key Takeaways

  • Although people may begin with praise before they criticize someone, they soon follow with a "but" statement. The word but is an immediate giveaway that something negative is about to be said and can put people on the defensive. Use "and" statements instead, rephrasing the criticism from a negative statement of the person's failings to a positive statement of the things that may possibly be achieved. The negative criticism is still there, but it is presented indirectly, thus sparing feelings and making the person more likely to try to meet the positive expectation.
  • Indirect, or implied, criticism can be particularly effective with "sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism."
  • If you are critical of someone and want that person to change, state your case in an indirect way, and leave the choice up to the person. They may be more inclined to do as you wish than if you tried to apply more direct pressure. Lead by example—show you are willing to do the same thing you are asking someone else to do.
  • Principle: "Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly."
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