Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have dierent meanings. Some examples
are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concurrent/consecutive, founder/
ounder, and historic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.
Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better t their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, becau
If you decide to take a break between nishing your rst body paragraph and starting the next one, do not
start writing immediately. Put yourself back in context and in the mood by rereading what you have already
written. This is what Mariah did. If she
Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related.
These words and phrases help the writing ow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are ofte
more clever design, or a more appealing background for their Web pages. Writing has the same capacity to prot from improvement and revision.
4.1 Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing
Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspe
Following her outline carefully, Mariah crafted each paragraph of her essay. Moving step-by-step
in the writing process, Mariah nished her essay and even included a brief concluding paragraph (you
will read her conclusion in Chapter 9). She then decided,
Here are the notes that Mariah wrote to herself to characterize her purpose and audience.
Mariah chose to begin by writing a quick introduction based on her thesis statement. She knew that she
would want to improve her introduction signicantly when she re
Mariah then began to expand the ideas in her outline into a paragraph. Notice how the outline helps
her guarantee that all her sentences in the body of the paragraph develop the topic sentence.
If you write your rst draft on the computer, consider cre
The information compiled under each Roman numeral will become a paragraph in your nal paper. In the example above, the outline follows the standard ve-paragraph essay arrangement, but longer essays will require more paragraphs and thus more Roman nume
Formal outlines are often quite rigid in their organization. As many instructors will specify, you cannot subdivide one point if it is only one part. For example, for every Roman numeral I, there must be a II. For every capital A, there must be a B. F
E X E R C I S E
Reread body paragraphs two and three of the essay that Mariah is writing. Then answer the questions on your
own sheet of paper.
1. In body paragraph two, Mariah decided to develop her paragraph as a nonction narrative. Do you agree
4.4 Completing a Peer Review
After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective read. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on
the page. When they are
their high cost presents an obstacle for students on a tight budget; moreover, while some students might appreciate a liberal arts schools intimate atmosphere, others might encounter a lack of diversity in the student
body. Still, students seeking a well-
4. DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY
As the sun hits my face and I breathe in the fresh air, I temporarily forget that I am at a sporting event. But
when I open my eyes and look around I am reminded of all things American. From the national anthem to the
Then, a week or two later, came judgment day. The professor gave our papers back to us with grades and
comments. I remember feeling simultaneously afraid and eager to get the paper back in my hands. It turned
out, however, that I had nothing to worry abou
Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. They
conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction.
E X E R C I S E
A. Answer the following
included comments about the sales sta in the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay,
she deleted the o-topic sentences that aected the unity of the paragraph.
Read the following paragraph twice, the rst time without Mariahs changes, and
5. END OF CHAPTER EXERCISES
L E A R N I N G
O B J E C T I V E S
1. Use the skills you have learned in the chapter
2. Work collaboratively with other students
3. Work with a variety of academic and on-the-job, real-world examples
E X E R C I S E S
1. In th
E X E R C I S E
With the help of the Editing Checklist, edit and proofread your essay.
K E Y
T A K E A W A Y S
Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you improve your writing before
producing a nal draft.
_ Is every verb in the correct tense?
_ Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?
_ Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?
_ Have I used who and whom correctly?
_ Is the antecedent of every prono
want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments. For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research
in future assignments.
How to Use Feedback from Multipl
Look back at the chart you completed in Exercise 2. Did you guess at any of the answers? Searching the Internet may help you nd answers to your questions and conrm your guesses. Be choosy about the Web sites
you use. Make sure they are reliable source
Each related main idea is supported and developed with facts, examples, and other details that explain
it. By exploring and rening one main idea at a time, writers build a strong case for their thesis.
How long should a paragraph be?
E X E R C I S E
On your own sheet of paper, revise each of the following sentences to create parallel structure using correlative conjunctions.
The cyclist owns both a mountain bike and has a racing bike.
The movie not only contained lots
Section 2 Exercise 3 Answers:
Section 3 Exercise 1 Answers:
Mr. Holloway enjoys reading and playing his guitar on weekends.
The doctor told Mrs. Franklin that she should either eat less or exercise more.
Breaking out of the prison compound,
Quickly recording your thoughts on paper will help you discover what you have to say about a topic. When writing quickly, try not to doubt or question your ideas. Allow yourself to write freely and unselfconsciously. Once you start writing with few limita
E X E R C I S E
Choose a general topic idea from the prewriting you completed in Exercise 1. Then read each question and
use your own paper to ll in the 5WH table with your answers. As with Mariah when she explored her writing
topic for more detail, it
the questions that reporters
and journalists use to gather
information for their stories
and that writers use in the
writing process: who? what?
where? when? why? how?
process. As you choose your topic, answering these questions can help you revisit t
Choosing a Topic
the reason(s) why a writer
creates a document.
the individual(s) or group(s)
whom the writer intends to
In addition to understanding that writing is a process, writers also understand that choosing a good