Thats my girlfriend youre talking about, I said.
How stupid are you? Were only speaking the truth here. You dont have to get so hostile.
I mean, if she really loved you so much, wouldnt she be back?
You dont understand. Its far deeper. She - were both cha
With that kiss the night took off. I took all the money I had in my pocket - 135 Euros in total
- and laid it on the table. I gestured for the waiter to bring over the special wine list by
to the normal wine list and rubbing my t
walked outside and held up her hand for a cab that was just driving by. It stopped almost
immediately. While the driver waited she asked me if Id like to go out the following evening
see a movie with her. I agreed. She promised to call me the next day
what to say. As I approached she looked more and more beautiful. Her hair was parted in the
middle and hung half way down her face, making a perfect arch like those in the great
scattered throughout the city. And like those cathedralf
there was no lightning. Only rain. Cold black rain.
At ten I finally gave up in frustration and went out to find Alan at Le Phare Enrag. The
place was strangely empty and I ended up talking to a new bartender whod just come from
Nice is all abo
were aimlessly strutting about on the sidewalk in search of food. They devoured my offering
almost immediately, like hysterical old women picking up imaginary crumbs and morsels
surfaces of pristine tablecloths.
A sharp pain stabbed through
the place by donating it to a seemingly impoverished old Flemish women downstairs and
it with things that were more to my liking, lending a certain permanence to my life in Paris
had been lacking before.
Things were rather quiet. There had b
or just wait in Paris until she turned up, I realized that it was time to move on and start
after myself. My obsession with finding her had derailed my life to such a degree that it left
a pointless holding pattern unwilling to make any majo
pleasant tingling in my veins and a far less pleasant tingling in my stomach as she finally
Sorry, she said. She looked like a child caught stealing.
No, thats all right. I was home late anyway.
No. I went out with a friend, I lied. She
unanswered questions. Who was Sodergren and what was his connection to Jillian and the
with the white cane? Was she in love with Sodergren? Where was she staying? Was she living
under a false identity with a completely new life? Why did she beg me to
Jillians disappearance was a great white emptiness. Imagine a man with no insides, a hollow
man, crafted from nothing but skin and bone. Imagine no lungs, no heart, no stomach; not
brain. Imagine him lying naked in the hot desert w
heard makes her sound like a neurotic witch.
Youre so crude.
Its my specialty.
At first I didnt know who they were talking about. The alcohol had put me into such a
numbed state that someone could have told me that I had ten minutes to live and I would ha
change of heart. I told her that I loved Jillian like never before, but that a new feeling had
sprouted up inside me that was totally out of my control. Jillian was forcing me to forget
her. I had no choice. I wished I could go on clinging to the ho
Be quiet, shouted Alan. Youre embarrassing the guest of honor.
Hes unflappable, arent you Jean. You pretend to be quiet and sensitive, but we all know
what youre really like.
Which is? I asked.
The waiter burst into loud uproari
jobs at restaurants. I saw what I thought were track marks on her arm when she rolled up the
black silk of her sleeve to show me her thin wiry muscles.
They make me lift boxes at this one job. The Greek man that runs the restaurant says men
determined to better my story with far more painful events from her childhood.
As we got drunker and drunker the place filled up until it was packed wall-to-wall. Gigi was
still tangoing with the Argentinean, weaving through clusters of people, spilling t
was standing right in front of me.
I walked her to the bus stop. She told me about a few of her girlfriends. One - Paule - was
going through a post-abortion depression and worked as a schoolteacher in a Lycee on the
end. Shed apparently been
Coltrane it is, then, said Alan.
Alan got up and grabbed one of the waiters. He pointed to the wine menu and whispered
something in his ear. The waiter looked over at me and curled his lower lip with curious
Alan went to the bathroom and the wai
I know, she said.
I can tell when a man is lying. I just hope you werent waiting for my call all night.
So, you just developed pictures instead?
I didnt think it was so formal.
You suggested it!
This is getting ridiculous. You know y
I watched the lightning wrinkle through the dark and seamless sky for almost half an hour. It
was so rare to see an electrical storm at this time of year. When the lightning subsided I
the curtains and went back to my living room. As I sat there st
The term skepticism has a number of meanings, which can sometimes lead to
misunderstandings between those who use the word one way and those who interpret it
another. Of particular interest, and frequently the focus of such misunders
THOGOTO PRY SCHOOL
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