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English 122 1/24/2014 My identity What is identity?

Can you correct my essay, please? I hope you add some sentences, some expressions, or remove my wrong sentences. 750-1000 words.
Question is "Write a narrative essay that identifies one major influence in your life and how it has shaped your personal identity."
English 122 1/24/2014 My identity What is identity? It is who you are, who they are, and who I am. Everyone has different identities, and I have an identity that no one has. My identity has started since twenty one years ago, and my identity has been changed by the people and environment around me. It is still changing even slowly. In my life, there is a place that definitely changed my identity. It is New Zealand. After I dropped out of high school at first level in my country, I went to New Zealand to go to high school. That place changed a lot of my perspectives, such as a way of communication, my personality, and my future. Firstly, New Zealand influenced my way of communication. I am from Japan. I am Japanese, and I speak Japanese. Before going to New Zealand, I have never ever talked with other countries’ people. It means I did not know a way of dealing with them. I thought I would not go out of Japan even once, so I had never studied English to speak. To communicate with people, and/or even to buy something, I have to speak English, except the case of buying from vending machine. Also, it was first time to leave my family, and first time to do home-stay. This new environment definitely influenced me to change the life-style that can be used only in Japan. After I got a few skills to speak English when I was in New Zealand, I faced a need to
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change my personality. A lot of differences between my home country and New Zealand made that need, and the biggest difference I thought was the way of behavior. For example, in Japan, there are many rules to talk with people. If you want to talk with elder people, you will be very careful to choose the words, and behaviors to them. It is hard to complain something to elder people, and we should follow the older people’s ways. However, in New Zealand, it was different. I could ask older people something that is like complaining, or questioning, or even doubting. To be honest, I should be more talk-active. For example, when I talk with elder people about a problem, I could try to answer for the solution of the problem easily even though the solution can be against the opinions of elder people. In Japan, I did same thing several times, but it always needed courage, and resolution to get blamed. When I was in New Zealand, I did not need them to question or ask. I felt so relieved that I could ask many things there. However, a problem was happened when I went back to Japan for the first time in winter holiday of school. At that time, it had already past one year since I left Japan. I had dinner with elder people. We were talking about the social things, and we had kind of discussion. I tried to join the discussion, and I confessed my ideas and the opinions. After that, one of them said to me “you do not know where you are. If you keep saying something like that, you will never fit in this place, Japan”. I was totally shocked. Nevertheless, it was too late to recall my old personality, which tended to follow the elder people’s ways, and not to complain at all. Then, I felt the change of my
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HI Please... View the full answer


English 122
My identity
I believe that before sharing my experience related to my personal identity, it is important
to know what the meaning of identity is in actually. Identity means a...

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