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Article where paper originated from:  

http://www.spectator.co.uk/2010/09/eat-local-organic-food-if-you-like-but-dont-kid-yourself-that-its-green/

The original draft:  

Food and Carbon Emission

Description

The article is about the relationship between foods and carbon emissions. It explains the efforts that people have in making sure that they reduce the amount of carbon emissions. However, according the author, the efforts do not amount to much. The articulate way in describing why the efforts may not amount to much. The article is written in a chatty style that keeps the reader engaged. The author has emphatically stated that the efforts that people make are not worth the while. The article is literally as it quotes past authors and researchers on the topic.

Summary

The article discusses about the way people are spending on foods in the belief that they are helping in preserving the environment by reducing the carbon emission. In doing that, they disregard modern methods of farming such as use of fertilizers and genetic modifications. It is the general statement of the author that this is a part of the same problem that people are trying to solve.

Just like many people, the author enjoys buying fresh produce from local markets. However, unlike the other shoppers, the author does it for the purpose of getting a bargain from the farmers who sell the produce. The author also states that he enjoys buying direct from the farmers as a way of eliminating the middleman as it helps to promote the local farmers. The author is emphatic that those who do it in the name of saving the planet are wrong. As a matter of fact, they are contributing to pollution and thus harming it more.

There are several phrases that the author uses to describe those who buy the produce of local farmers. He says that they buy believing that they are living sustainable. There is another group who do the same in the belief that they are boosting the economy while others think that they are promoting self-sufficiency by ensuring that there is a market for the farm produce. Another reason they do that is to ensure that there is food security. However, in the opinion of the author, they are wrong.

One of the arguments of those who promote the ideologies is that food miles should be the duty of everyone. They go ahead to explain that people should start learning to live within seasons. They should only consume that which is in season instead of having the food transported over long distances when they are not in season. The argument is that if people are to stick to seasons, then the amount of carbon emitted can reduce drastically. That is because people believe that the less miles the food gets transported, the lesser the carbon emission (Schnell, 2013). The author uses research to oppose this view. A research carried out in 2007 in the United States found that transport of food from farmer to retailer accounts for only 4% of the carbon emission. The same research found that car journeys to shopping account for about 48% of the carbon emission. Additionally, it states that air freight food miles’ account for about 1%. Therefore, it does not matter where the food comes from. If there is a real concern for the environment, people should look for comparative advantage. There are the natural habitats that favor agriculture with less emissions.

There is also the argument of self-reliance. The author states that it does not hold water because it is very vulnerable. There are natural occurrences that can destroy a whole year of farming. He states that it is such occurrences that led to famine in the past. Now that there is modern farming and transport, it has become a thing of the past. More so, shunning food made from places where it is cheapest to do so leaves the environment at a greater risk. It encourages the clearing of forests for the purposes of farming (Harris et al., 2012). The same case applies to farming technology and genetic modification.

Response

There is a lot of misunderstood points on this issue of carbon emission and sustainability. While the people are committed to having a clean environment, they lack the necessary information while they make certain decisions. The author is successful in bringing out the controversial issues and in clearing the myths that the people have about carbon emissions. I feel that the author understands the issue and commands knowledge of the behavior that people display about it. In my opinion, the author has successfully demonstrated that food miles are not as important as people have been made to believe. On the contrary, there are more important issues that should get attention than those.


Use these responses to adjust the original paper: 

1. After reading your summary, I am not sure what the main idea is of the article you read. You provided many details about the authors writing, but maybe more than what should be used in a summary.  You explained many different aspects and described each. You did a great job with details! I would suggest really sticking to the main idea and only explaining that.

2. I think the writing in the response was distinct but there was a sentence I did not understand, “I feel that the author understands the issue and commands knowledge of the behavior that people display about it.” You may consider rewriting that sentence to have more of an impact in that paragraph.

Sticking to the main point of the article in your summary may also be a good idea. The last sentence in your response does not align with the rest of the writing.

You may also want to add evidence from another source in your response to support your own ideas.

3. I do not think the format of this writing with what our professor was looking for. I encourage you to review the PowerPoint we were given on this assignment. Make sure you have a definite introduction, thesis statement, and conclusion! I would love to be left with a lasting impression.

I think we were supposed to have five quotes from the author. You could easily add them into your summary or response.

5. If I could take over this draft, I would slowly reread everything written out loud. I would read it as a first time reader making sure every sentence executed the proper point and made sense!

Follow the instructions that's been copy and pasted and the the instructions that's been tagged. Thanks


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WRITING PROJECT 1: Summary and Response Description & Steps Consult CHAPTER 3 of Writing: Ten Core Concepts to develop and complete your project. Below are speciFc details related to this project to consider as you progress through each core writing concept. 7 Get feedback Students will conduct peer response in Class Session 3, where you will Fnd instructions on how to conduct peer response. After you receive feedback from your peers in class, you will need to review this feedback and develop a strategy for how to apply that feedback to a revision of your frst draFt . 8 Revise ±ollow this step to revise your frst draFt. Keep in mind that your revision of the Frst draft should incorporate peer response feedback you received from your peers as well as guidance o²ered in Step 8 of CHAPTER 3. Along with your fnal draFt , you will submit a cover letter , describing and explaining the feedback you received from your peers and how you revised your Frst draft based on that feedback and on Step 8. See Assignment SpeciFcs, below, for information on writing the cover letter. 9 Strength en your voice In this step, you will think about and make changes to your draft based on language choices: developing your voice, tone, and writing style in the draft. CHAPTER 19 of Writing: Ten Core Concepts o²ers a number of stylistic considerations. These kinds of changes may also be discussed in your cover letter . 10 Make it correct In this step, you will look for errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling and correct them. You will also check your in-text citations and formatting for correct APA or MLA style and make any necessary corrections. Lastly, you will use the resources in your textbook and in the Resources area of the class to construct a References page (APA) or Works Cited page (MLA) citing your core reading. Do NOT discuss these kinds of changes in your cover letter . TURN IT IN: After you applied this step, you’re ready to submit your cover letter and fnal draFt in Class Session 4. See Assessment SpeciFcs, below, for information on completing and turning in the fnal draFt and cover letter .
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