Q1 . After the fifth time their son, Dorian, was punished for...

Q1 .

After the fifth time their son, Dorian, was punished for fighting at school, Stan and Eliza Johnson realized that they needed help. Dorian kept saying that he wasn't initiating the fights, but that wasn't stopping him from getting punished. They had discussed the issue with Mrs. Ross, Dorian's third grade teacher, but didn't feel like she was listening to their concerns. And Dorian was starting to get anxious about going to school. Clearly, all four of them needed something to change.

Fortunately, the principal, Dr. Jobst, had extensive training as a mediator and was prepared to mediate the dispute.

At their first mediation session, Dr. Jobst, the Johnsons, and Mrs. Ross gathered in the principal's office. Dr. Jobst asked the parties to explain what brought them to this point.

"Tell me, Eliza," Dr. Jobst queried, "what is your perspective on the situation?"

Eliza sighed and said, "I know that kids get into fights and a teacher has to maintain discipline. But even though Dorian is big and strong for his age, he's not aggressive. He just looks like he could be. I'm worried that he's being punished because of his size. It's important to me to know that he'll be treated fairly and not blamed for things he didn't start. This whole situation makes me feel really sad."

Eliza's comments are a good example of assertive communication. Select the statement that represents the empathy and validation element of assertive communication.

• "It's important to me to know that he'll be treated fairly and not blamed for things he didn't start."
• "I know that kids get into fights and a teacher has to maintain discipline."
• "I'm worried that he's being punished because of his size." -this option is wrong
• "This whole situation makes me feel really sad."

Q2

After Eliza said her piece, it was Mrs. Ross's turn. "I hear your frustrations," she said to the Johnsons, "but I'm at my wit's end with the fighting. I don't want you to think that I'm singling Dorian out, but he's had a pretty substantial change in behavior over the last few months. His behavior isn't working in our classroom right now. He used to be an exemplary student, so I just have to assume that something is causing this shift."

Dr. Jobst was curious about Mrs. Ross's insight. "When I hear about ongoing fighting in a class, I always wonder if a child is upset about something outside of school. And since this is new behavior, I wonder if something in Dorian's life might be the source of these fights. Can you tell me a little about what's been going on in Dorian's life outside of school? Any major changes he might be upset about?"

Dr. Jobst is gathering information by asking clarifying questions. Select the example of a short answer question.

• "How often do you talk to Dorian about his behavior?"
• "Did Dorian ever get into fights when he was younger?"
• "Has Dorian always seemed lonely?"

Q3

As they talked, Stan realized that he needed to get something off his chest. "I'd like to come back to something important to me," he said. "This is hard for me to talk about, but I'm a big guy, and when I was Dorian's age, I was blamed for being a bully when I was just having fun and playing. I don't want Dorian to be embarrassed about being big, so before we do anything, I really need to know he's not being discriminated against."

Mrs. Ross was quick to reply. "I understand that it can be tough for kids who are bigger than their peers when they get singled out—"

Stan jumped on her words. "So you admit that you were singling Dorian out because of his size? Would you have just let the fights go if he wasn't as big as he is?"

Mrs. Ross was indignant. "No, not at all!" she said. "I've been teaching for many years— don't assume that I don't know the difference between horseplay and a dangerous situation."

Feeling her face get hot, Mrs. Ross took a deep breath and continued. "I just meant that I understand that people feel badly because they are singled out sometimes. It happens to lots of kids for lots of reasons, but I always watch for it in myself and others." 

She sat back, her face still red. The mood in the room was tense for a long moment. Then Stan shook his head, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It's just something I'm sensitive about for Dorian. And I think I'm still sensitive about it for me, too. I didn't mean to blow up."

Which of the following was a de-escalating statement in this situation?

• "Would you have just let the fights go if he wasn't as big as he is?"
• "So you admit that you were singling Dorian out because of his size?"
• "I've been teaching for many years— don't assume that I don't know the difference between horseplay and a dangerous situation."
• "I just meant that I understand that people feel badly because they are singled out sometimes."

Q4 .

Wanting to move on after the discomfort of her husband's tiff with Mrs. Ross, Eliza asked Dr. Jobst for advice on how to help Dorian grieve the loss of his grandfather. "We've never dealt with the death of a family member before," she said.

Dr. Jobst had a lot of thoughts about this subject and was eager to discuss productive methods for managing grief, but she knew there was something she needed to do first.

"Before we get into that," the Dr. Jobst said, "I'd like to make sure everyone's ready to move on. Let's take a moment to all check in. Is there anything else that we haven't covered that might be going on in this situation? Stan and Eliza, is there anything you need to understand about what Mrs. Ross has observed? Mrs. Ross, do you have any other concerns you think Dorian's parents need to know about? I don't want us to move on unless we know we all have everything we need to start working on a plan."

By asking these questions, Dr. Jobst is performing a process check. What is the purpose of a process check in conflict resolution?

• To ask further clarifying questions 
• To let parties speak and be heard for a second time
• To lay out the ground rules for the mediation session
• To confirm and increase the parties' comfort level with the resolution process

Q5.

Dr. Jobst asked Mrs. Ross, Stan, and Eliza to start thinking of some ways to help Dorian. "Let's brainstorm some ideas. Whatever comes to your mind, let's get it on the table," she said.

"Maybe students can start the day meditating or journaling," Eliza suggested. 

"I'd much rather meditate than journal," Mrs. Ross replied. "It sounds much more relaxing."

"I think Dorian would benefit from having a task. Could we put him in charge of the class pet for a week or something?" Stan asked.

"Dorian could have a few sessions with the school counselor," Mrs. Ross said.

At which point in the conversation did the parties step out of the brainstorming process?

• "Maybe students can start the day meditating or journaling," Eliza suggested.
• "I'd much rather meditate than journal," Mrs. Ross replied. "It sounds much more relaxing."
• "Dorian could have a few sessions with the school counselor," Mrs. Ross said.
• "I think Dorian would benefit from having a task. Could we put him in charge of the class pet for a week or something?" Stan asked.

Q6.

Stan and Eliza talked privately for a few minutes and then said, "We want Dorian to get the best help he can to deal with his feelings about his grandfather's death. We're willing to take him to see a grief counselor, and to really spend some time helping him understand that he can't take his feelings out on his classmates. Hopefully, before too long, his behavior will settle down. But if a fight starts, we'd also like Mrs. Ross to agree to give him five minutes alone to calm down before she punishes him."

"Wait," said Mrs. Ross, "I know we've already discussed a number of options, but I think we missed something. Can we go back to brainstorming?"

"I feel like we've been through all of this already," Eliza said. "What else can we add?"

Sensing that they were frustrated, Dr. Jobst stepped in. 

"Remember that conflict resolution is often like this," she said. "It's normal to return to previous stages of the process before everyone's satisfied."

As it turned out, Mrs. Ross just wanted to add one option to the list of possible solutions. Once they'd talked through their options again, Mrs. Ross was confident that they could proceed.

The act of repeating stages various times is why conflict resolution is a(n) __________ process.

• stagnant
• iterative 
• redundant