• The following message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby-related products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for a premiere brand of strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, the stroller and high chair brand is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold.
o Our e-tailing company Beautiful Baby Gear specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough—good enough, that is, to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website. We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don’t want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell a half-dozen units per annum—no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above mentioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your product lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.
o After reading the message, do the following:
a) Analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence
Revise the document so that it follows the Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 guidelines.
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