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STUDENT PAPER Taken from The Sundance Writer: Write a 300- to 500-word narrative essay based on a personal experience or observation. Limit your...

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STUDENT PAPER Taken from The Sundance Writer: A Rhetoric, Reader, and Research Guide , Brief , 5th Edition This paper was written in response to the following assignment: Write a 300- to 500-word narrative essay based on a personal experience or observation. Limit your topic, select details, and use figurative language to recreate what you experienced. This paper is about a trip I made last spring to San Diego to visit my aunt and uncle. I saw a lot during that week but the most meaningful part I remember was a one day trip to Mexico. I think it really changed the whole way I think about things. Sometimes its the minor things you remember as important. I got o the San Diego Trolley and I knew that I was going to start an adventure. f Tijuana. As I neared the entrance to cross the boarder there is a priest with a plastic bowl. With a picture of some kids saying “feed Tijuana’s homeless children.” Yeah, right, I think to myself, just another scam, this guy probably isn’t even a priest. Tijuana. Just the name of the city brings back a special smell. A smell that you will only know if you have been there. It only takes one time and you can relate to what I am trying to say to you. A smell that will permeate your olfactory senses forever. The smell was terrible. As I cross the boarder the Frst thing that hits you is the smell I just mentioned. Then you witness the terrible su ering and horrible poverty. It makes you realize how terrible many f people have it in this world. Once I get past the few blocks of poverty and handed out all I can, I wandered upon a busy little plaza where you could see all kinds of people having fun and partying. As I continued my journey, I reached a bridge. The bridge was horrible. Toward the mid- span of the bridge, I experienced one of the most touching moments in my whole life, one of those happy ones where it’s not clear weather you should laugh or cry. There was this little child playing the accordion and another one playing a guitar. It was getting to be late, and I started to get ready to leave. But this time as I passed the priest I Flled his plastic bowl with the rest of my money. Like I stated, this one afternoon is what I remember from my whole trip. I still think about those people and the way they lived their lives. We as Americans take way too much for granted and never realize how bad other people have it in this world today. QUESTIONS ±OR REVIEW AND REVISION 1. This student was assigned a 300- to 500-word narrative in a composition class. How successfully does this paper meet this goal? 2. How does the student open and close the narrative? Does the opening grab attention? Does the conclusion make a powerful statement? 3. What devices does the student use to advance the chronology? 4. Most writers focus on visual details. This student includes the senses of sound and smell as well. How e ective is this approach? f 5. Did the student follow the instructor’s suggestions? Do you see any errors the student should identify to improve future assignments? 6. Read the paper aloud. What changes would you make? Can you detect passages that would beneFt from revision or rewording? 7. In the final draft the student included a photograph. Would a photograph add value to the essay? Why or why not?
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The Sundance Writer: Rhetoric
1. In this essay The Sundance Writer has written about his journey to Mexico, I really loved
the way he has given his narration about the journey, and the things he...

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