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Down below i am posting my essay and i was hoping if u could go over it to proof read it for any mistakes be that of grammar or any as such. thankyou


Introduction

           Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy and thus, there are people, specifically women, who stay in them (Saunders, 2018). To explain this statement more, I will be discussing the example of my mom in this reflection. This is because my mom is a woman who, even after 25 years of being in an abusive relationship with my dad, has stayed with him.

When I was a child, I often saw my dad abusing my mom, and then after some days, he asked for forgiveness and she forgave him. I often wondered why this is. Within the course textbook, three basic reasons as to why women stay in abusive relationships were mentioned and discussed. They were commitment to the caretaker role, fear of the consequences of leaving, and feeling powerless (p. 391). Out of these, the two main reasons why my mom stays in her abusive relationship are fear of the consequences of leaving and feeling powerless.

 In this reflection, using my mom's example, I will discuss how women, due to the fear of the consequences of leaving and feeling powerless, stay in their abusive relationships.

Fear Of The Consequences Of Leaving

           When deciding whether to leave an abusive relationship, abused women fear many things (p. 391). For instance, they fear poverty. Abused women who have been homemakers and out of the workforce for some time feel that they cannot support themselves or their children financially and that will lead them to poverty (p. 391). Another fear that abused women have is regarding their children. There are some men who, to control their wives, make threats with regard to the children - either of injury or custody suits (p. 392).    

           As a child, I saw my dad abusing my mom and her continuing to stay. There was an instance where I asked my mom that why does she continue to stay with my dad. She stated that there were two things that she feared and that stop her from leaving. Firstly, she feared that she would live in poverty. My mom is a housewife and thus, she feels that if she were to leave, she would be unable to provide for herself financially leading her to poverty. The second fear is regarding her three children. Luckily, my dad has never made any sort of threats with regard to us. However, my mom still fears that if she were to leave, her children may be affected. She fears that her children will develop behavioural problems, emotional difficulties, and social difficulties. They might lack self-esteem, be insecure, be angry, start to misbehave, and be torn between both the parents (Divorce or separation of parents - the impact on children and adolescents: for parents and carers, n.d.). These fears of my mom stop her from leaving. Likewise, there are other women who also have similar fears that stop them from leaving their abusive relationships.

Feeling Powerless

Many women in abusive relationships feel helpless (p. 392). Many women, who want to leave the relationship, do not find a source of help. When an abused woman asks for help from her family or friends, there are some that help and some that do not help. Some family members or friends assume that if the relationship is not working, it is the woman's fault and so they urge her to go back and work harder on the relationship (p. 392).

My mom is also a woman who asked for help but did not receive it. There was a time when my mom left my dad and went to her parents' house. She stayed there for a month and then came back. After some time, I realized that it was not her who decided to come back and rather, it was her parents who made her come back. In that one month, her parents spoke to her and convinced her that it is her fault and that she should work harder on her marriage. Though my mom tried to convince her parents about her decision of leaving, they did not get agree and thus, they did not help her. Since my mom did not get help, she came back as that was her only option.

Asking friends for help was not an option for my mom as she knew that if she did ask them, they will not help her. This is because most of her friends are also women who are in abusive relationships and who have learned to live with them. One time, I overheard a conversation that my mom, after a verbal fight with my dad, had with one of her friends. She told her friend about the fight and asked what to do. The friend replied that she should just live with it as husbands do get angry and in that anger, they say anything. By saying this, the friend meant that my mom should just forget what happened, forgive my dad, and continue to live with him.

Since my mom did not receive help from both her family and friends, she stayed with my dad. Likewise, there are other women who do not receive help from their family or friends and thus, they stay in their abusive relationships.

Conclusion

           This reflection means a lot to me as it made me think about something that I never did. After seeing my mom stay in her abusive relationship for years, I often used to wonder about why she stayed but I never thought about it in detail. While writing this reflection, I read chapter 14 of the course textbook and visited various websites that discussed abusive relationships and why people, specifically women stay in them. I related these readings to my mom's example and that helped me to think in detail about why my mom stayed and to answer my queries.

Through this reflection, I learned a lot about relationships. One thing I learned was that a successful relationship requires sacrifices that mainly come from women. It is mostly women, who even facing things like abuse, stay in a relationship and try harder to make it work.

Answer & Explanation
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